Do Others Sense You Believe in Them? And Why It Matters
Every time I meet him, I am encouraged and strengthened. He has the gift of affirmation and is specific in his praise. When I am with this leader, I feel believed in. I know he is for me, cheering for me as I pursue my God-given goals. Younger leaders (and even older ones) are desperate to find people who believe in them.
I’m not saying ignore weaknesses and growth areas. When you choose to speak hope and affirmation though, your words give life. A leader’s actions, as they show trust by giving responsibilities do too. Especially, when people aren’t quite ready to do those things with the skillfulness that you do them.
Living a fruitful life as a leader in God’s Kingdom, means learning to communicate that you believe in people.
“I’m Concerned…”
I recently spoke with a mature leader. He is someone I’ve worked with for years. This brother called to share concerns about another person in the ministry. That person was quite clearly off-track in key things related to disciple making. My friend was concerned.
As I listened to him, I realized there were definitely things that needed correction and input. What I didn’t hear was a sense that he believed in this person. His influence in his life will be limited unless that changes
We respond to those we feel believe in us.
As a friend said in a recent discussion, “You can tell if people believe in you or not.” I am more willing to receive input from those I know see my potential. How about you?
And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.
Matt 16:18 NIV.
The Lord Believed in His Rough-Edged Disciples
Jesus believed in Peter and the others who followed Him. I’m not sure I would have. The fisherman called Simon was rough and slow to understand. With a loudmouth at times, he made grand declarations like, “You are the Christ” then turned around and denied the Lord. Not a super stable personality.
Seeing beyond who Peter was in the moment, Jesus saw who he would become. His words and affirmation to Peter were prophetic. The things He said, must have deeply shaped Peter’s life.
The words we speak to those we lead and train are powerful. It’s not uncommon for someone to repeat back to me something I said to them years ago. I’ve completely forgotten saying that, but my words had impact. They shaped decisions for them and who they have become.
How You Become Someone Who Believes in Others
1) Ask God for eyes of faith to see who they are becoming, not only who they are.
This belief in people has to be authentic. You can’t pretend. They will sense that. This is why you must learn to see people as God does. Let the Lord give you an understanding of who He is making this person to be. Learn to partner with God in their spiritual development and formation.
2) Be generous with praise.
Look for the good in them and call it out. Some of us grew up in homes where we were never affirmed by our parents. Scolding was all we heard. Whatever we did was never enough. If we got a good grade, an A on a test, they wanted us to get an A+.
If that was your upbringing, you may find it hard to praise those you are training or leading. Grow past this. Be intentional in speaking praise.
Author, Ken Blanchard, wrote a book called “Catch People Doing Things Right.” It is a powerful way to inspire and motivate those you lead.
3) Correct in love and don’t address every issue you see.
I can tell when I’m being corrected in love. Somehow, we sense motivations. They come through our voice and body language. Be sure that when you do address issues, you do it from a place of relationship and concern. Are they convinced that you correct not because they are “wrong,” but because they need to change to reach the goals in their own heart?
My personality is such that I see faults. I look at how someone is working in ministry and my strategic mind sees a dozen things that should be changed. Maturity and mistakes have taught me that I don’t need to share everything I see!
That doesn’t mean I never correct or give input. It must be given with respect though. Usually, I ask permission to share my view. Even better, I often wait until they fail and ask me for advice. Unwanted input can destroy a relationship with someone you are mentoring. Be choosy in what you say to correct.
4) Remember that someone believed in you when you had many faults.
It is easy to forget about our own weaknesses, past and present. Yet you are who you are today because someone gave you a chance. They took a risk and believed in you. Be that person to someone else.
Who would God have you express encouragement to this week?
Let me know in the comments below or share your thoughts on Missionary Life’s Facebook group.