Living faithful, fruitful and fulfilled on the mission field
When you see a Muslim woman, dressed in her hijab, many Christians feel afraid. They avoid talking to people of other cultures. One of my relatives recently befriended a woman from another faith background. It’s been interesting to watch her reach out. As far as …
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Two billion people on our planet are born, live and die without even once hearing the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ! That’s an injustice that doesn’t end with death. Many Christ-followers want to help right this wrong. Why not personally share the good news of Jesus Christ with Muslim neighbors?
We are now in a time in history when the work of cross-cultural evangelism is no longer only the work of highly trained, full-time missionaries. We must equip and train every Jesus follower, to effectively share their faith with the unreached around them.
Not long ago most people grew up surrounded by people of their own ethnic and religious background. Today, in many places, God has brought the mission field to us!
Unreached Muslims, Buddhists, and Hindus now live, work and play in our home towns and cities. This article is a guest blog written by a missionary who now lives and works with Muslims in his home country.
My attitudes towards Muslims and the Great Commission have undergone quite a transformation. Shifting to new perspectives has taken time.
Let’s begin by assuming we are passionate about sharing Jesus with our Muslim friends. The goal is not sharing our denominations, churches or theologies. Nor is it about our own interpretation of history.
Second, let’s also agree that God loves all people (and peoples). He desires them to be saved.
God is the only one in His creation without prejudice. If God loved them so much that He sent His Son to die for them, then shouldn’t I love them too?
Third, Christ-followers must also agree that Jesus wanted people in every ethnic group (ethne) to hear the gospel and be discipled. This includes all the 3734 unreached Muslim ethnic peoples.
Most of the world’s Muslims come from cultures where friendship trumps truth. That’s significant because the truth is important to most Muslims.
Relationship and friendship are more highly valued than truth in many Eastern cultures.
The first implication of this is that Christ-followers need to build a relational bridge to share the gospel. This is done by proving to be a trustworthy friend.
Second, most Muslims would describe trust as the most important quality in a friend. Friendship is built upon trust. Demonstrating such friendship may take time.
Third, most Muslims find the idea of instant friendships strange. Express sincere interest in your Muslim friend – his family, in particular — and let it continue whether he or she accepts or rejects the gospel. Be an authentic friend.
Most Muslims are impressed by genuine hospitality, kindness, and compassion. Is someone ill in their family? Consider a visit, or offer to pray for their healing. Do they have a practical need that is within your power to meet? Consider helping. Start to see these practical life struggles and needs, as God’s opportunity to show genuine love.
Many Muslims are sensitive to the needs of the poor. Most believe that true religion is caring for ‘widows and orphans’. Is caring practically for the less fortunate in your town or city a lifestyle for you?
Strive to be clean! Muslims admire godly people. A true follower of Jesus knows that their heart is already made clean by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.
What counts in sharing the gospel is how the Muslim understands godliness from within their culture. For example, Muslims generally abhor eating pork and do not want to eat off of plates that have had pork on them. We can be the world’s most sincere and loving Christ-follower, but if our Muslim friend sees us eating pork his heart will close to us. Will we surrender eating pork if it enables a friendship with a Muslim?
The same is true for drinking alcohol. A Christ-follower may not struggle with occasional drinking. Most Muslims will struggle to listen to the testimony of a Christ-follower who consumes alcohol.
Muslims generally admire modesty and find most ‘normal’ Western clothing revealing legs, arms, and a woman’s bust or figure – shameful. Also, a Muslim man would never embrace or touch a woman who is not his wife.
Am I willing to consider a few minor adjustments to my diet, dress, and behavior to bring down walls of cultural resistance? Then I can befriend my Muslim brother and the gospel I share will be heard.
There are several other cultural issues like these in Islam. Christ-followers can conform to a Muslim’s cultural values without surrendering his or her allegiance to Jesus. I’m already clean because of what Jesus did for me on the cross. Can I adjust my behavior, language, and clothing so that I am ‘clean’ in their eyes? This will help my Muslim friend hear the gospel when I share it with him/her.
Never hide your faith in Jesus Christ from your Muslim friend. Live before him or her exactly the way you would around any other Christ-follower. For example, do you pray before you eat your meals? Don’t stop because you are with your Muslim friend.
Another example, is it normal for you to talk about God as a normal part of your daily conversation? Don’t stop that because you are with your Muslim friend!
Muslims generally disapprove of those with weak religious convictions. They admire people who have a strong belief. Real love enables us to be consistent and be true to ourself, to God, and our Muslim friend!
After trust has been established in your relationship with your Muslim friend, be sure to affirm common points of truth. There are many between Islam and Christ’s gospel. For example, belief in one God, angels, Judgment Day, predestination, and the Second Coming of Christ, to name a few. Ask, ‘How can I build a bridge to my Muslim friend using one of these common beliefs?
Starting discussions with controversy or arguments over Muhammad or the Koran is unhelpful. Avoid this.
Once there is rapport with a Muslim friend, it can be helpful to compliment their religion at the appropriate time. You could say something like, “One thing I have always admired about Islam is its insistence that there is only one God. I believe this is true too.”
Share from within their culture. Jesus always communicated with people from within their culture and worldview. He understood that people can understand things best from within their own context.
A good example of this principle is Jesus’ interaction with the Samaritan Woman in John 4. He got her attention by talking about the things that were hot issues in her culture.
If we start by sharing with our Muslim friends from the Bible, this may not be received well. Why? Muslims believe that our Bible has been corrupted.
If, however, we start with a concept from the Koran that agrees with our Scriptures, our ideas will gain an immediate hearing.
An example would be the Koran’s assertion that Jesus was virgin-born. A Christ-follower can say things like, “I appreciate what the Koran says about Isa Al Masih (Peace be upon him!). It says in Surah Maryam that Isa was born of a virgin.
“Isn’t it fascinating that the only other human without an earthly father was Adam. Surely, Isa was a special prophet. Can I share with you….” Such an approach neither dishonors the Bible, nor exalts the Koran.
Once we build a bridge to God’s truth we can point Muslims to other truths about Jesus in the gospels.
Most Jesus followers from Western cultures care a lot about truth. We might be tempted to challenge our Muslim friends when they make certain claims about the Bible, the Koran, Muhammad or the way to heaven.
‘Will a dispute or argument on this particular point help my Muslim friend get closer to the truth about Jesus? Will it help them understand His atonement for mankind on the cross?’
Many times it will be wise to let these controversies pass. Is it worth it to win an argument, if we lose our Muslim friend?
For example, my Muslim friend might assert that Mohammed was the last prophet. I don’t have to verbally disagree.
I do have the option to let their statement pass without comment. Doing so might allow me to continue talking about Jesus and His sacrifice on the cross for all people.
Hopefully, our conversation with our Muslim friends are filled with good will. It’s important to give our friends a way to contact us if they have further questions.
The Bible highlights the importance of planting spiritual seeds. They may take time to sprout. It is wonderful if your Muslim friend can contact you when they do!
As you befriend and share with your Muslim acquaintance, remember that God, the Holy Spirit, is with you. He wants your Muslim friend to discover the treasure hidden in a field (Matthew 13:45) more that you do.
He will help you to say the right things. Even more importantly, He will help you show the unconditional love of Jesus Christ to your Muslim neighbor.
What is one thing from the article above, you can apply this week as you share Christ with Muslim friends in your life? What questions do you still have? We’d love to hear about them in the comments below or on the Missionary Life Facebook Page.
The above blog was written by R. Francis.
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“I’ve told him how I feel so many times. It’s like I am talking to a brick wall. Nothing I say sinks in!” These thoughts circled through my mind, making me feel miserable. My husband and I were talking, but definitely not communicating.
It was like playing a losing game. We each threw the ball, but neither of us caught it.
Communication only happens when both the sender and receiver connect. If the person on the other side of your “talking” doesn’t understand what you say, you haven’t communicated.
Poor communication is a typical marriage problem. It takes much of the pleasure out of our relationships.
Reflective listening is a skill everyone can learn. It can dramatically improve communication in all your relationships, especially your marriage. You learn to request feedback. Each person takes time to confirm that understanding has occurred.
This can radically change the level of communication between spouses. It’s a simple, but vital skill to learn if you want to have an effective marriage.
I feel loved when am heard and understood. There is a deep longing in every human to find someone who “gets you,” who is “with you.” It’s part of the beauty of marriage.
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Gen 2:18 NIV
God understood the human need for companionship. Adam needed a friend to share his life with. He felt alone. God provided Eve.
The sad reality is that in many marriages…yes, even missionary marriages…we still feel alone.
Loneliness is a powerful emotion. One of the causes of loneliness is that we have not learned to listen to each other well. No feedback loop is happening when we talk.
When my husband and I learned reflective listening, it radically changed our marriage. Even as recently as a few days ago, we had a conflict between us. We were not seeing eye to eye on something. We were both talking, but no one was listening! Those communication “balls” were being thrown but not caught.
We set aside some time where we wouldn’t be distracted. We sat on our porch and did a reflective listening exercise.
As we did this, we were able to “hear” each other again. Our viewpoints hadn’t changed that much, but feeling heard made all the difference.
Now we could work on the issues together. We could come to a positive decision about how to move forward. We both felt loved and understood, even if the other person didn’t agree with us fully.
Hearing and agreeing are not the same. You don’t have to agree with everything your spouse says! That would be to give up your individuality and personhood. You do have to be willing to “want to understand” and to truly “hear” your spouse. As we do this, many problems are automatically solved.
It is called “reflective” listening because instead of replying, you reflect back what they are saying. Think of yourself as a mirror.
One person speaks. The other person listens. After a few sentences, the listener then repeats back what they heard the other person say. They summarize in their own words. The other person then can agree that this is correct, or they can clarify.
In reflective listening do not reply to what they said. Be careful not to react. Just repeat back what you heard.
Then, switch roles. Now the other person speaks and the original speaker listens and reflects.
The goal of reflective listening is to truly hear one another. Instead of listening, we are often busy creating a defensive response. We filter what is being said through our hurts, wounds, background, and emotional baggage.
We think the person is saying one thing… when they are actually saying something entirely different. Reflective listening prevents harmful miscommunication in marriage.
We have found it helpful after one person speaks to prompt the other person by asking the question, “What do you hear me saying?” This encourages a reflective response. It is much better than asking “What do you think?” Sharing what you think can come later. It is easier after you’ve really heard each other.
Husband (playing the listening role): Tell me what you are feeling and thinking about our son.
Wife (playing the speaking role): I feel sad and angry. I am hurt by his rebellious words and attitudes. I don’t think we should let him go out with his friends if they are going to affect him in such a negative way. I feel like you let him do whatever he wants and don’t even notice what is going on in his life!
Husband: I can see that you are feeling hurt, sad and frustrated. You don’t think its good to let our son associate with these friends. You feel like I’m not paying attention to what is happening. Is that right?
Wife: Yes, and this makes me angry with you as well!
Husband: Hmmm. Can you tell me a bit more?
Wife: I feel like if you loved our son, you would be taking some action to discipline him.
Husband: I hear you saying that you wish I would take more action. That it would make you feel like I loved our son. Am I understanding you?
Wife: Yes! That is how I feel! I mean I know you do love him, but I am really frustrated and afraid. Thanks for listening to me. I really appreciate it. It’s your turn now.
Wife (playing the listening role now): Please share what you are thinking and feeling about this.
Husband (playing the speaking role): I feel like you blame me for our son’s problems. I work hard in ministry all day. When I come home, I am faced with your anger. I am doing the best I can but I feel like you attack me.
Wife: I hear you saying that you work hard but feel like I am blaming you for our son’s issues.
Husband: That’s right! It’s not my fault that he is struggling and I don’t know how to fix it! I wish I did. I wish we could work together on this and pray together for him rather than fighting.
Wife: I hear you saying that you wish we could work together to help him rather than being angry with each other. Am I hearing you correctly?
Husband: I know I haven’t been as involved with him as you want me to be. I don’t really know what to do to help him. I love you and I love our son. But we really need God’s help!
The two take turns listening and reflecting. They don’t give opinions or reactions but give each other the wonderful gift of being heard. Then, when they have fully done that, they can pray together. They can start looking together for solutions.
Why not do a reflective listening exercise with your spouse or a team member this week? If there are big issues, set aside time for one person to speak and the other to listen. Then set another time to change roles. You will be surprised at how much this helps!
When you try this, let me know how it goes. Comment below or in the Missionary Life Facebook group.
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