When Missionaries Don’t Have Genuine Friendships With the Lost

I was surprised (and a bit embarrassed) by the exercise. A seminar leader asked me to write down the names of 15-20 people I knew who were not believers. They were supposed to be people I interacted with in the course of my normal life. I was shocked that I couldn’t even list five names! This exposed the sad reality that I had very shallow relationships with the lost people around me. We can easily isolate ourselves in a “missionary bubble” full of ministry colleagues. We slip into lifestyles that invest little time in friendships with the lost.

My goal is not to condemn. I do want to challenge us to change. Without a guilt trip, I want to exhort us to reconsidering our priorities.

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.”

Matt 5:13-14 NIV.

A Troubling Question

This year I will be spending a few months in my home country, the United States. We’re doing our normal deputation as we reconnect with ministry partners. This has me thinking about mobilization. What I can do to raise the banner for unreached peoples and the cause of the Great Commission this year?

There is a troubling question on my mind though. What about mobilizing missionaries? What about us? Those of us who live on the mission field and in countries that are full of unreached people groups. Are we being light and salt in those places?

How The Shift Happened

The exercise mentioned above is called creating a Lost and Saved List. Read more about it on my blog Pursuing Disciple Making Movements Among the Unreached. The simple activity of committing to pray regularly and specifically for lost people shifted my behavior in this area of life. Now my actions match my beliefs and values better.

I have a significant list of specific people in my neighborhood who are not yet believers. They are in my prayers and thoughts on a daily basis. Because I pray for them, I’m more interested in their lives. I stop to talk to them when I see them in the market. I ask questions about their children and engage with them in a different way. My “antenna” is always up, and I am looking for an opportunity to share my testimony with them. It’s much more likely I will stop what I am doing and pray for them when they tell me they are sick or in pain.

Sharing the gospel is more natural than it used to be. It happens in the course of my everyday life, not only when it is “evangelism” time.

I now enjoy deep and real friendships with neighbors who don’t know Christ. Some of them have become His followers! There is a much greater sense of fulfillment and fruitfulness, not only in “ministry time” but in my everyday life.

Are We Really Too Busy?

Again, I am not wanting to condemn but to challenge us. How many missionaries are busy with ministry activities but have few genuine friendships with lost people? We spend our days speaking, teaching, and attending meetings. There is much rushing around doing good things, but we don’t even know that our neighbor’s father is in the hospital.

3 Keys To Staying “Salty” On The Mission Field

1) Don’t Make Excuses

It is so easy to say “Evangelism isn’t my gifting. My ministry is (fill in the blank).” Only a handful of missionaries find evangelism something that flows out of them naturally. We allow ourselves to think this is a valid reason to say we have no active responsibility in this area. You know that isn’t true!

We go there in our minds, perhaps because we lack confidence to do evangelism. Or maybe we have not felt successful in past efforts.

“Other’s will share the gospel with them,” we say. “I will be part of discipling, training, providing member care, organizing crusades…” the list goes on.

We as missionaries, like all Christians are first disciples, no matter what our ministry jobs are. Disciples must obey Jesus’ command to be His witness. All disciples must be light and salt.

Here are some hard questions, but ones we need to ask ourselves.

• Have I shared the gospel with anyone this past month?
• Could I make a list of names of at least 10 non-Christians who live near me?

2) Prioritize Knowing Lost People

This is a mindset shift. It doesn’t actually take a lot more time. When you buy vegetables, pause for 30 seconds to talk with the seller. Ask their name. Put them on your list and begin to pray for them. Next time, ask them how their children are.

Be friendly. Give some of your time and energy to interacting with those around you who don’t know the Lord. Are you really too busy? What if you made time for just a 30-minute cup of tea with someone who doesn’t yet know the Lord? Determine to give lost people at least some time in your life. Then go out of your way to go to where they are. Do they exercise at a particular gym? Do they play football? Go and be with them. Then engage.

3) Posture Yourself To Dialogue And Learn

It isn’t all about sharing the gospel, though as we build relationships, that’s something we also want to be intentional about.

Be a curious learner. How do they perceive and interpret current events? What is important to them? As you dialogue and learn from those of other faiths, your life will be greatly enriched.

So much of evangelical Christianity is in an “us or them” posture. This doesn’t lend toward the kinds of real relationships with non-believers where we are light and salt.

What can we learn from their viewpoints and perspectives? Are we willing to listen and try to understand their perspective, even if at the end we don’t agree?

Make A Lost List

Why not start today? Take a piece of paper out. List the names of people who don’t yet know Jesus. Start praying for them every day this week.

Let me know in the comments, on Facebook, or by email if you did this. I’d also love to hear any questions or challenges you have with living a lifestyle that is “salty.”