A Tribute to My Mother-In-Law, Sylvia Anderson
A week ago today, my mother-in-law, Sylvia Anderson, went to be with her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. As you approach middle age, you know your parents will not live forever. That doesn’t make it any easier when the time comes for them to go. Their stable, comforting, encouraging presence, their prayers, love, and help are not easy to let go of.
The night of her passing, I moved with my husband into her home to care for and be a support to her grieving husband, my father-in-law, Jerry. I wanted, together with Todd, to do everything I could to serve and help him through this tragic loss. Yes, though she was 83, and not in an accident or anything, it is always a tragic loss when you lose someone you’ve been married to for 65 years.
It’s been painful to stay here and has made me miss her so much. Stepping into the role of the female in this household… let’s just say they are shoes I could absolutely never fill. She was an amazing homemaker and hostess.
Big Shoes to Fill
When Todd and I were dating and first married, I was quite intimidated by her baking and cooking. She always had these amazing caramel rolls she’d make for us, and her freezer was continually full of cookies and bars…at least six different kinds. They were ready to be pulled out and served to anyone who might stop by to visit. Mom Anderson never expected me to be like her and always made me feel welcome, but still, those were big shoes to fill.
Jesus Was First in Her Life
When Todd and I prepared to go to Nepal for the first time, I was three months pregnant with our daughter Jenna. She would be Sylvia’s first grandchild. Not once did she speak a word about the pain of us leaving them, or giving birth to their first grandbaby on the other side of the ocean. She cried many tears when we said goodbye, but never in any way tried to discourage us from going. I know it was hard for her. I realize it even more, now that I am a grandma, living far from my precious grandkids. Sylvia supported and believed in the cause we were working for, and was willing to release her son and family to serve God. Mom Anderson always put Jesus first.
Upon returning to the USA every three years or so, we were welcome in their home. Though I was terrified of ruining her beautiful white carpet with our toddler’s spills or breaking something lovely, she never made me feel that way. We were always picked up at the airport by mom and dad, with all our luggage, and brought to their house.
Since I grew up in Africa, and my parents were still on the field, I didn’t have a home that I lived in for many years as Todd did. The house in Lakeville, became an anchor, a place we always came home to. It gave me a sense of rootedness. It feels so strange to be here without her. I miss her greatly.
God’s Plan
The strange reality of death is part of the cycle God designed. We know that He is absolutely and only good, so this too must in some way be good. Yet it is hard. It is a suffering we must bear. I feel for Dad Anderson, and can’t imagine what it would be like to lose my husband. Why God created this passing to be such a loss, I cannot comprehend. Why we must come into the world helpless and leave it in pain I don’t understand. What I do see is that in our suffering, we are carried by Him. In difficulty, we draw near. And that, is a good thing, for it is there close to Him, that our souls truly live.
Her Legacy
I am not much like my mother-in-law. She was a quiet homemaker who mostly stayed within an hour of her home. I am a world-traveling speaker, podcast host, and missions leader. What I have learned from her, though, is the power of discipling your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren well. She loved her family and always had time for them. She was generous toward them. Sylvia made sure they knew they were loved. Faithful in her church, her relationship with the Lord, and in practicing spiritual disciplines like prayer and Bible reading was exemplary. Her husband was her top priority, next to Jesus, and she served and loved him well. I hope in those ways I can be like her.
I miss you, Mom. This world is not as nice without you here, but we will carry forward your legacy.
Goodbye for now, until we meet in Heaven.