Blog

April 29, 2022

Why We Need Authentic Accountability

Recent events at Willow Creek Church have saddened the global Christian community. I considered Bill Hybels one of my mentors from afar. He was a leader to many. I had never met him, but I’d gained much from his books, especially the one called “Courageous …

Leadership, Spiritual Life

by C. Anderson

April 15, 2022

Keeping Your Family Stable & Sane While Facing Visa Challenges

“I can handle quite a lot of difficulty and pain. I just don’t want my kids to suffer!” Most missionaries feel this way. If we couldn’t handle significant levels of discomfort, we wouldn’t have chosen this life. In my experience, missionaries have a higher than normal pain tolerance. But we love our kids. We don’t want them to be negatively affected by our calling. Yet, as much as we hate it, sometimes they are. This is particularly true when we face missionary visa challenges.

The transitions and stress that are a part of these take their toll. How do we minimize the negative effects on our children?

Much of how our kids are affected, depends on how we, as parents, handle these situations. Our kids are often like mirrors. They reflect back our own internal struggles. We want our kids to feel safe and secure. This is crucial for their mental health and development.

But how do we create that environment in the midst of missionary visa challenges?

External stability can be hard to find. Sometimes it’s close to impossible to achieve. As parents, we can provide for our kids an inner stability. We can give them a firm foundation. This security flows directly from our own inner life.

“I Don’t Understand You, God!”

Let me share a short excerpt from my soon to be released book- God Encounters In The Wild Places.

My heart was confused and I was grieving. I was angry with my situation and with God. Why did it have to be so hard? Why were we even here? And most of all, why hadn’t He come through for us in providing the visa for Nepal?

We missed our friends in that Himalayan nation. We missed our home…our lives. India wasn’t easy and this particular plains city was harder than most. The Lonely Planet Travel Guide had only a few lines listed about our city. It said “Get out of there as soon as possible.”

The place we were now in was around a million people (including the outskirt areas). But there were only a handful of foreigners there. That didn’t bother us so much. It did make cooking challenging.

What was available to purchase now was very different from what we had been used to in Kathmandu. The market in our new home, simply wasn’t big enough for foreign goods. Even simple things like cheese, various kinds of cereal, or different types of juice were scarce. These were things our kids had liked to eat.

As I cried out to the Lord in the early mornings, I was honest with God. “I don’t understand You! You didn’t lead us here like when You led us to Nepal. I don’t like this city and I don’t like India. Please help me God! If You want us to stay here, I need You to give me Your grace. I can’t do it on my own.”

Before I could help my kids feel safe in the midst of our missionary visa challenges, I first needed to “have it out” with God. It was a process, journeying toward a place of trust, acceptance, and peace. It took time, but I got there. Our kids got there too.

“When I am afraid, I will trust in you.” Psalm 56:3- NIV

4 Things To Help Transfer Security To Your Kids

Here are a few things we did in that transition time that helped us and our kids. I hope these suggestions benefit you today!

1) Be honest about how you feel.

First of all, be real with God. Admit your fears and frustration. Don’t try to “suck it up” and “stuff it down.” That only leads to a prolonged struggle and possible depression.

Tell God what you feel about the situation you are in. Maybe you haven’t lost your visa, but you are sick to death of having to worry about it, year after year, month after month. You might be tired of having to make that “border runs” again and again. Don’t try to be a “good missionary” who never complains, even to God. Believe me, He knows about it anyway and you aren’t impressing Him when you don’t admit your struggles! God can handle your frustration. He won’t get offended or punish you for expressing what is going on inside.

It’s also good to find a few friends to be honest about your missionary visa challenges with as well. Share what you are feeling inside. Don’t have a friend nearby? Get on Facebook or Skype and find someone! Or, feel free to write to the Missionary Life Facebook page! But get it out, don’t hold it in!

2) Choose trust over anxiety.

Often, I’ve had to simply choose trust over worry. It’s not easy but it can be done.

Meditate on Ps. 56:3 or Philippians 4:6-7.

Even if you have to make that conscious choice a hundred times a day, do it. Say to yourself, “I’m choosing trust. I won’t give in to fear and worry. God, I trust You in this situation.”

It is powerful to speak to our souls and tell them what to choose!

3) Notice the good and celebrate it actively.

Gratefulness has the ability to change our emotions. Make a “thankful list” and keep it in a prominent place like Anne Voscamp’s “1000 Gifts” book suggests. Train yourself to notice the good things.

4) Watch your words.

Talk about things that are good and lovely.

We feel more strongly the things we talk about often. Do you find yourself complaining about the heat? The adjustments? The things you don’t like about your situation? Guard your mouth. It is transmitting and transferring those sentiments to your kids.

Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things and the God of peace will be with you,” (Philippians 4:8)

As parents, you set the tone in your home. Much of the family atmosphere comes from what you as parents speak about. Choose to talk about good things. It will help your kids. It helps you too! 🙂

A Song To Encourage

I’d like to share a bit of an older song with you. It’s called My Heart Will Trust. As you face your visa related challenges, will you choose to trust Him? Make that decision again today as you listen to this song.

Member Care, Visa Issues

by C. Anderson

January 14, 2022

When Holiness is No Longer Sexy…Has It Gone Out of Fashion?

I can’t remember the last time I heard a sermon on holiness. In some ways, the move away from hellfire and brimstone preaching has been so important. We don’t want to coerce people to put their trust in Jesus because we’ve scared them to death! …

Spiritual Life

by C. Anderson

December 24, 2021

Merry Christmas!

It’s Christmas Eve here in Thailand. The sun is about to rise. I’m drinking my morning coffee and gazing at the candle glowing on my living room table. The lights on the Christmas tree flicker. Soon I’ll begin baking and cooking, preparing a special meal …

Spiritual Life

by C. Anderson

July 10, 2021

3 Things That Help When Facing Visa Issues

Needing a visa to live in the country you call home can be a huge pain! Visa related issues cause tremendous stress in the lives of many missionaries.

“You have 24 hours to leave.” These are the dreaded words every missionary hopes to never hear. Yet, sometimes do. Our friends do. We hear stories about these situations. We may even wake up at night concerned about it.

If they are nice, immigration officers might give you a week. It is still awful. Having to uproot your entire life and family, is a major challenge. Or, your nightmare scenario might be having entry at the border suddenly denied, even when you have a valid visa. You return from a nice beach holiday. Slightly sunburned, but refreshed, suddenly they say you are not allowed to go “home“. Or maybe it’s Covid related issues. Everything is in place, your visa, your entry permit, tickets, covid tests are scheduled. Until it all falls apart. A cancelled flight means your tests are invalid now and everything changes.

I wish I could say this will never happen to you – that God will always keep the current door open for you in missions. Unfortunately, that is just not the case. In our missionary lives, doors open and close to various countries we feel called to work in. Visas and permits are granted, but they are also denied.

Visa Related Issues- An Unexpected Place Of Healing

Visa challenges are a somewhat regular part of a long-term missionary’s life. The hopeful reality is that God uses these challenges to draw us close. He prunes and heals us through visa issues. He takes our fear and uncertainty and transforms it. Your place of anxiety can become a place of deep trust in His goodness, power, and sovereign nature. God uses visa uncertainty to expose roots in our lives He wants to heal. It’s part of His deep work inside us as He prepares us for greater fruitfulness and fulfillment.

Losing Our Visa And Home

Let me share a bit of our story. It happened when we had three small children. Our oldest daughter, Jenna, was in class two. Steffi, our second child, was in Kindergarten (Reception for the Brits, or Pre-KG for Indians). Our son, Jeremy was three. Our kids were happy and settled. So were we. We’d lived in that country for about ten years and learned the language. The ministry we were involved in was fruitful and growing. We thought we would be there the rest of our lives.

It was not to be. We were pursuing a new visa platform that seemed like it would serve us better. But the paperwork at immigration didn’t move. Months ticked by as our current visa ran out. We prayed hard, and asked others to pray. Nothing changed. We reached the point where there was only one month left on our visa. We hadn’t seen the breakthrough we hoped for. Our only option was to leave.

We didn’t feel God calling us back to our home country. So, we made plans to cross the land border into another nearby country. Friends there kindly said we could stay with them. There is a lot more to the story! I will have to post an excerpt from this chapter in my upcoming book, God Encounters in the Wild Places, with more details. Suffice it to say though, it was very hard. How did we get through? What do we think about it now, as we look back?

3 Things That Help When We Face Visa Related Issues

1. Remember God is the One in charge of your destiny.

When we lost our visa, it didn’t make sense. What I did know was that God was in control. He was the One who had called us to the mission field. He was master, I was His servant. I knew deep in my heart that He was the One responsible for my destiny. Whatever He called us to accomplish, it was going to have to be Him who did it. I surrendered. “God, I hate this, but you be in charge”, I prayed. Surrender is the key to joy. His ways are not usually our ways. His path never seems to be the one I expect. But He is the One who knows how to get me to my destination. He knows how to get you there too.

2. Remember that God is greater than government authorities.

Visa related problems reveal how we think about God. How great do we believe He is? Is He sovereign? Is He powerful?

It is hard when God doesn’t do what we expect or ask for. We must come to a place where we know, deep in our heart of hearts, if God wants us to be there, He can and will make a way. No government can stop His purposes.

Don’t let immigration and the security forces in the country you work in become bigger in your mind than God. The same is true about Covid-19. It’s not bigger than Him! Continue to remind yourself of His greatness and power. He can blind the eyes of officers, place a person of favor in a line you go through and bring about His purpose. Though you may or may not see that “miracle,” keep your heart in a position of faith about what God can do.

3. Remember that God is always good.

No matter what happens, we come back to the bedrock of God’s character. He loves us and He is always good. Even when His ways seem mysterious or we feel like He has failed us, He is still good. He knows the challenges you go through and is ready to walk with you through them. Be mindful of His goodness. Expect His kindness. Watch Him turn something you never thought could be good, into something wonderful.

Through visa challenges, God helps us come to a new place of peace and trust we have never known before. A child struggles then falls asleep in their mother’s arms. Be like that little one, after the fight and struggle- relax into His loving arms. He loves you. Like the title to Brian and Jenn Johnson’s song says, You’re Gonna Be Okay.

Receive His Peace

Take a few moments to pray. Thank God for His goodness to you and your family. Express your faith and trust in Him during this stressful time. Ask Him to fill you with His peace and presence. Then, sit quietly and receive His special grace for your visa related issues.

He will be with you. No matter what happens with your visa, His calling on your life will be fulfilled. God is totally committed to it. And when He commits to something, there is no stopping Him! Amen?

Are you facing a visa struggle? Share about it on Missionary Life’s Facebook Group. We’d love to pray with you.

Member Care, Visa Issues

by C. Anderson

April 30, 2021

How to Navigate the Disruptions of Missionary (or Normal) Life

“Change will be a constant,” the speaker said. My mind knew what he said was true, but my heart rebelled. “I don’t like change!” a voice screamed inside my head. Our missionary lives are filled with disruption. It is the reality we face as Christian …

Leadership, Member Care, Missionary Families, Visa Issues

by C. Anderson

March 26, 2021

How to Succeed in Language Learning (and Even Enjoy the Process)

There is nothing like learning a new language to make you feel like a total idiot! It’s humbling. Sometimes it’s humiliating. For months and even years- it can feel like forever- you speak at the level of a two or three-year-old child. Then, after much hard work, you finally move up to…the level of a first grader! There you are, in an adult body, with an incredibly important message to share. You desperately want to communicate with the people you are ready to lay down your life for. God sees that desperation and is ready to help you. I’d love to help you too. Here are some simple principles to help you succeed in language learning.

Laugh At Your Mistakes!

Learn to find humor in your language mistakes. I recommend keeping a journal and recording them. One day when you are a veteran missionary, who speaks fluently, you will remember these fondly. One of my funniest language learning mistakes was at a wedding.

We had been in the country for about six months. I’d come a long way in language learning, or so I thought! We were attending a local church and no translator was available. As was typical in a Nepali church, my husband and I were seated on opposite sides of the building. We sat cross-legged on the floor, he with the men and me with the women.

It required endurance but I made it through the entire service. I understood a few words here and there.

They were speaking rapidly, but I was catching more and more. I’d hear phrases that made sense. Staying focused on trying to grab at least a few new vocabulary words out of the sermon, I stayed engaged, even if I got no spiritual benefit.

At the end of the message, the pastor made an important announcement. A young couple in the church was getting married the next week. I was so proud of myself! I was tracking right along and understanding everything! Woohoo!

Then, the pastor said, “Is there anyone here who won’t be able to attend the wedding?” Or that is what I thought he said, at least.

language learning — Nepali brides often wear red instead of white.

I raised my hand, knowing we had other commitments on the day of the wedding.

My husband, on the other side of the church, shook his head rapidly, trying to get my attention. The face of the future groom turned white as a sheet. The pastor, then asked me, “Are you sure?”

I was still confident I’d understood. We definitely couldn’t make it to the wedding. In my best Nepali, I replied: “Yes, I’m sure.”

The groom, about fainted.

As the words escaped my lips, I suddenly realized my mistake. The pastor had not asked me if we could attend the wedding. He had asked the typical obligatory question. “Is there anyone here who has any objection to this couple getting married next week?” No wonder the groom about had a heart attack! Poor young man.

I felt bad for the groom, but it was also extremely funny. My husband and I laughed all the way home. To make up for my error, we gave a nice wedding gift to the new couple.

And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
Matt. 18:3- NIV

5 Keys To Succeed In Language Learning

1. Embrace humility and child-likeness.

The language learning process forces one to become like a child. Jesus said that is a good thing. It puts you in a position where you have to be a learner, not a teacher. This too is a very good thing. It may not feel good, but if we allow Him to do so, God will use this in our lives to powerfully transform. Embrace the journey. When you feel like an absolute fool, don’t fight against it. Go to God with it. Let His humility be formed in you through the language learning process.

2. Immerse yourself as much as possible.

The more you are able to be around people who only speak the new language, the easier it will be for you to absorb it. Not every situation is ideal for language immersion. Due to your kid’s schooling, you may find yourself often with people who prefer to talk to you in your own language. Or maybe there are many languages spoken in the place you live.

Immersion is such a big factor in language learning. I encourage you to find a way, even if it is only for a few weeks or a month. Go and live somewhere that people only speak the language you are learning. Live in a village for a while. Do a homestay. When returning home, continue to look for ways to surround yourself with people who don’t speak your own language.

3. Make yourself dependent on the local people around you.

This is like the first point, but slightly different. The more you put yourself in a position of need, the closer the bonds you will develop with indigenous people. As these bonds develop, they will give you insider knowledge, not only of the language but of the culture too.

It isn’t easy to be dependent on people you are not comfortable with. It is much easier to use google maps to get somewhere than to ask your neighbor to take you there. Asking another missionary friend where to buy groceries is easy. It’s better to go with a new contact and buy them in the market. Actions of dependence and need, push you forward in using your new language. Be willing to do things in a way that takes longer and is less comfortable. Choose ways that make you dependent on your host culture.

4. Remember your “Why”

When you feel this way, remember why you wanted to learn the language in the first place. What did God originally call you there to do? What would you be able to do so much better if you could communicate at a deeper level? How would it impact your evangelism? Your discipleship? Your leadership training?

There are times when we need to use translators. I don’t condemn anyone who does. I have used translators thousands of times!

Deep level discipleship, however, happens best when you speak their heart language well. Remind yourself that one day you will be able to do that, and the impact you will have will grow exponentially.

5. Be consistent in your daily efforts to learn.

This is maybe the most important tip I can give you! Daily, consistent learning is the key to success. Every single day practice a couple of new words. Set a time to study and make it a habit- even if it is only 15 minutes a day. Listen to recordings of new vocabulary while you wash the dishes every night. Set up that regular meeting with a language helper and put it on your schedule. Consistency will get you where you want to go more than fits and starts in language learning attempts.

Language Learning Is Ministry

The Brewsters wrote a book called Language Acquisition Made Practical (LAMP). They wrote, “Language learning is ministry!” I fully agree. It is not something we do so we can minister in the future. The process itself is a ministry. As you interact with people to learn the language, love them. Pray for them. Share your life and stories with them. Let God flow through you.

Do you need help in choosing the best language learning method for you? Download my free e-book! Find out more about the four methods I’ve used to learn various languages and discover the one right for you.

Language & Culture

by C. Anderson