Guarding Your Heart in the Midst of Visa Issues
“I can’t believe it! That’s not what I understood from the website,” my husband exclaimed. We’d just gotten a response from the embassy saying we were not eligible for the type of visa we’d applied for. A few days before, a friend planned to go to another country for training. At the last moment, he was told the borders had closed due to the pandemic. He’d sacrificed much to take this trip. Now the door was tightly shut. Visa issues are a big deal for missionaries. They create great stress. It is important that we actively guard our hearts in the midst of them.
Our hearts are fickle and vulnerable. They are the place our feelings and emotions are housed. What happens in our heart impacts the rest of our lives significantly. That is why the Psalmist spoke so strongly.
A Thinker or a Feeler?
Most people are predominantly thinkers or feelers. Even if you are primarily a thinker, feelings matter. Both to you and to those around you. We all must learn to guard our hearts.
Our thoughts impact our feelings deeply. As we learn to control our thought life, it has an impact on our hearts.
For years I was quite unaware of my feelings. I’m predominantly a thinker. Suppressed feelings can lead to depression. It’s important to allow ourselves to feel. We can grow in our ability to notice what is happening in our hearts. I did, anyway!
I’ve written about this before, but I learned in the midst of a marriage crisis, to do something called an Emotional Jug. Doing that each day was part of paying attention to my heart.
When visa situations cause frustration and anger, it’s good to acknowledge that. When we decided to serve God cross-culturally, we might not have known we would face difficult visa issues. We were ready to eat strange food, to face persecution, and to suffer physical hardship. But visa issues? Really? You might be saying “I didn’t sign up for this!” I know my husband and I have felt that way at times.
How To Guard Your Heart in the Midst of Visa Issues
The following are things we can do to guard our hearts at any time. They are especially important when we are facing visa challenges or fighting immigration battles.
1. Allow yourself to feel.
Don’t supress your feelings. We need to give room to them, without giving them control. We don’t gain by a “stuff it in” or “suck it up” mentality. Instead, we need to find a safe person or safe way to let these things out so they don’t destroy our hearts. Emotional jugs have served me well in this. Finding a friend who can do this with you works well. Or, you can do this just with God by journaling.
2. Recognize feelings for what they are…feelings.
God created us in His image. This means that like Him, we feel. Jesus felt sad and angry at times. This is not sin, it is part of being human.
Our feelings however are just that…they are feelings. They are not fact. They are not truth. Our feelings do not need to control us. We can control them.
“I can’t help how I feel,” you might say. Actually, you can. Your feelings are controlled and directed by your thought life.
3. Protect your mind from wrong thinking.
As you acknowledge your feeling, ask yourself what thought was prompting that feeling. For example, I might feel angry because my visa was denied. As I acknowledge my anger, I see that I’m mad at the government for not letting me back in the country. I’m thinking judgmental things like “This government is stupid! Why can’t they be fairer? Their website is not up to date. They are inefficient and incompetent!” Hmm. I need to take control of my thoughts and examine them, these thoughts are triggering my feelings.
I ask God to help me see what is truth and what isn’t.
4. Change your feelings by changing your thinking.
To continue with that example, I then say to myself something like, “Actually, this government is not stupid. They are trying to protect their nation against the wrong people coming in for the wrong reasons. This is part of good governance. Yes, sometimes these rules are not helpful to me, but they are trying to help their country and their people.”
Truth turns my feelings around. I’m able to feel more gracious toward that government.
5. Acknowledge the sovereignty and goodness of God in visa issues.
I go on to remind myself of the truth about God. He is sovereign over governments. All throughout the Bible, I see Him raising up and bringing down leaders of nations. God is the One who opens and shuts doors for me, His servant. He is more than able to open the visa door for me at the right time. I don’t need to be angry with any government. I can trust God to work as I pray. When it is time for me to go, if it’s the right place for me, God will open the door.
Speak the truth to your heart about who God is.
6. Take care of yourself in times of stress.
Whether it is a visa issue, or another stressful issue, such as a health or financial problem, be good to yourself in these times. It is okay, and even right and good, to be nice to yourself! Is there some way you can do something special for yourself to boost your emotions?
I will sometimes go for a walk in a beautiful garden. I love flowers and this is a special treat for me. Make yourself some kind of special food, or schedule a long phone call with a friend you enjoy talking to. This too is part of guarding your heart.
Sooner or Later We Will Face This
Whether you are going through a visa issue now or will face one in the future, perhaps this blog has given you some fresh ideas. I wish I could tell you that visa issues won’t be part of your life as a missionary, but I’d be lying. Almost everyone faces them at some point.
When you do, guard your heart well.
What can you do this week to guard your heart?
Let me know in the comments below or on the Missionary Life Facebook group.