5 Barriers That Will Ruin You as a Cross-Cultural Minister
Reverse culture shock…it’s real. I’d returned to the United States after many years in India. Why do we need to make appointments two weeks in advance to see our friends? When I stop by, why am I not invited in for tea? I felt confused. Hospitality in Western culture is not a high value. It is a biblical one. This practice must be developed in the lives of those who wish to minister cross-culturally.
I wrote about hospitality in 10 Qualities of a Cross-Cultural Minister. Let’s go a bit deeper.
For some, hospitality comes naturally. For others, you will need to make an intentional effort. What hospitality looks like is varied, depending on your culture. It is also impacted by age.
Effectiveness as a missionary will be dramatically affected by your willingness (or lack of such) to develop the biblical practice of hospitality. This is true no matter what culture or generation you come from.
Not a Gift, But a Practice
I have to admit, hospitality is not my gift. My husband’s personality is much more hospitable. It is something I have worked to develop.
In India, where we lived for many years, their worldview says “guests should be treated the same as god.” It comes from the Sanskrit phrase “atithi devo bhava.” Guests are frequently welcomed into homes and offered a cup of tea or some kind of food.
It doesn’t matter how busy you are, or what you are in the middle of doing. If someone comes to your door or you meet them by chance, you stop what you are doing and offer hospitality.
Middle-eastern cultures are like this as well.
My New Friend’s Offer
Talking with a stranger on an airplane on my way to Kabul some years ago, I was invited for a meal. I’d never met this person before. We’d only had a few minutes of conversation, exchanging stories about our children.
As a guest in her country, she offered hospitality to me. That meal, would not be a mere cup of tea. It would be a feast.
Though not a Jesus follower, in many ways, this woman was more biblical in her practice of hospitality than I was.
It took time to develop this new habit in my life. There are times I still work at it. It did become normal for me to offer at least some kind of beverage and snack to anyone at any time. When we returned to our Western culture, I missed this.
Ready to Welcome Guests
An overseer must not give people a reason to criticize him, and he must have only one wife. He must be self-controlled, wise, respected by others, ready to welcome guests, and able to teach.
1 Tim 3:2 New Century Version
5 Barriers to Practicing Biblical Hospitality
1) Busyness
It is easy to get busy. In our search for productivity and value, we take on more than we should. We get sucked into projects that aren’t God’s assignments for us. Meetings are planned we feel obligated to be part of. Busyness is the enemy of hospitality.
2) Valuing productivity over people
Often, our identity is connected to our ability to produce work. Even our fruitfulness in the Kingdom can become a search for identity and a sense of value.
Jesus was different from this. He was never too busy trying to produce fruit or building the Kingdom to stop and chat with a child or a widow. His ease and relaxed manner made Him more effective and more fruitful. People always mattered more to Him than a goal or agenda.
3) Laziness
Sometimes we are lazy to provide hospitality. It’s hard work. Welcoming people and offering them a place at our table means we are willing to make an effort. We can be hesitant to do this. Other things matter more to us. “We don’t even have any relationship with these strangers. Why make time for them?” we ask.
4) Shame and vulnerability
We don’t want to open our homes (or our lives) because people will see who we are. Our false self, the image we project on Facebook or Instagram is different than our real lives. If people enter our homes spontaneously, they may see that our floor is dirty or our bathroom not clean.
Welcoming people into our homes does make us vulnerable. We don’t know these people. Will they judge us? Steal from us? Gossip about us? We must put these fears aside and be willing to be known by others…even by strangers. Let God protect your image.
Fear is even stronger now, with the COVID 19 pandemic. Not only about image, or theft, but fear of sickness. How can you be hospitable while still being wise during this season?
5) Greed or a Mindset of Scarcity
It costs money and time to offer hospitality. We are tired from our normal work. Now, we must go the extra mile to plan a meal or organize a party.
When we are stretched financially, we struggle to give. Realizing we can’t afford to give the best (buying chicken and the nicest rice for example), we don’t want to give at all. “Give and it will be given unto you,” the Bible says (Luke 6:38). We can’t out give God. Don’t let your own lack prevent you from offering hospitality to others.
Welcome a Stranger This Week
I’m grateful to serve in a mission that values hospitality. Our core values state it this way, “we affirm the ministry of hospitality as an expression of God’s character and the value of people. We believe it is important to open our hearts, homes, and campuses to serve and honor one another, our guests, and the poor and needy, not as acts of social protocol, but as expressions of generosity.” (Value 17)
You may serve with another mission, or be someone who wants to reach out to immigrants or people of other cultures. This biblical value and practice will help you relate well to people of other cultures and build bridges into their hearts.
In spite of the pandemic, find one way you can be hospitable to a stranger this week. Offer a pre-packaged packet of biscuits they can open themselves. Invite them for a meal. Open your front porch if your dining room table is off-limits because of the virus. Welcome guests and strangers. I’d love to hear what you did, or questions you have in the comments below or in the Missionary Life Facebook group.