Which is Most Important – Task or Relationships?
Balance. This word is important but over-used. It’s not balance we need. We need wisdom to live in the tension of seemingly opposite values with equal importance. This is a skill effective leaders develop. How can you be both good at completing tasks and also very relational? Great leaders are.
As a Westerner, I’m from an individualistic culture. If you are from the Global South (Asia, Africa, Latin America) you are from a more community-oriented worldview.
Fruitful missionaries learn to be reliable in completing tasks, and also are loving in the way they interact with people. Too often we use culture or personality as an excuse. Instead, we must become skilled in both task completion and relationships.
She Makes People Feel Loved
My friend Suzy* is from Malaysia. She is a business minded person and quite task oriented. I can count on her to get things done and often have to remind her to rest. At the same time, I feel like she cares about me. She takes time when we meet to ask how I am doing before jumping into business. Often, I get a text from her asking how I am, or about a personal or family issue.
This makes me feel loved. I know our friendship is not only about work. She knows the names of my kids. I know hers too.
What does friendship do to our working relationship? It makes it far easier. Our relationship is the oil that makes the ministry machine work. When there is conflict or misunderstanding, it is not hard to pick up a phone and call.
“Hey, Suzy. How are you doing? How is Timothy recovering from his car accident?” After catching up personally, it is easy to say, “Can I talk to you about what you said in the meeting yesterday? I felt a little confused by the tone in your voice when you said…”
It’s not worth debating which is more important, task or relationship. The answer is both. Without relationships, our tasks are empty. Without tasks, we spin around in circles and little progress is made.
As the time approached for him to be taken up to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem.
Luke 9:51 NIV.
The above verse is a clear example of Jesus’ focus on the task. His job was to go to the cross and redeem mankind. He determined not to be distracted from His overarching purpose. Yet, He always made time for people. When a blind man cried out, He stopped and healed. Children felt free to climb up on His lap.
What Task Oriented People Must Remember
1. People are more important than projects.
Take time for people. Pause. Breathe. Listen. Observe. The projects only have value if they serve and develop people.
2. Loving people deeply means making time for them.
Love, for many, is expressed through giving quality time to them. If you say you love your spouse but don’t take time to listen to her share about her day, you aren’t doing a very good job of demonstrating your love. The same goes for your disciples. Do you make time to listen?
What Relational People Must Remember
1. Without the discipline to complete tasks, your progress will be slow.
The Bible commands us to be faithful. Faithfulness is shown by our reliability in doing what we say we will do. Does your yes mean yes? Reliable stewards will be given more authority and responsibility by God (Luke 19 parable).
2. Love does. That means we must take action, not only talk.
If you are so busy relating to people that you never have time to take action, you will disappoint. Yourself, others, and even God will soon realize that you only talk, but don’t do what you talk about. Make time for the doing as well as the talking about doing.
Many of us preachers, teachers, and writers are good at speaking about Kingdom work. We need to stop talking about it and start doing it! Are you making disciples personally? Reaching out to lost people? Spending time in intercession?
Living in the Tension of Tasks and Relationships
You can’t balance doing and being. Nor can you hold tasks and relationships in balance. These are both/and values. We live in the healthy push and pull of life and keep both as important values.
Jesus was very relational and also completed the tasks God gave Him. Would you pray this prayer with me?
O Christ, when I look at you, I see that you were never in a hurry, never ran, but always had time for the pressing necessities of the day. Give me that disciplined, poised life, with time for the thing that matters. Amen. – by E. Stanley Jones
Which do you struggle with task completion or making time for relationships?
Share in the comments below or on the Missionary Life Facebook group.
*Not her real name.