Significance. It’s a human need. Sometimes even greater than food and shelter, our souls long for significance. We want our lives to make a difference…to count for something. People search for meaning in all kinds of unhealthy places. Fame, money, power, status…all promise to fill …
The desires and needs of husbands and wives are often quite different. Learning to value one another’s marriage desires is necessary for maintaining a healthy marriage. Doing a marriage desires exercise can help.
Packing once again. Yet another move… another change. Just when my life was beginning to have a bit of a routine. Sigh. It’s been said that the only constant in the life of a missionary is constant change. Transition. Probably true for most people, not only missionaries though we do have a higher degree of change to deal with. It begs the question – how do we approach our continual transitions with grace? We need to look for the hidden treasures of our transition seasons.
It helps to remember that God purposefully created life to include transition. He designed the world with seasons and cycles. Change is part of His wonderful plan. Summer transitions to Autumn, Autumn to Winter, Winter to Spring, and so on. Since transitions are His plan, we can embrace them as positive in our lives. Instead of wishing the transition period would end, look for the good. Notice and embrace it.
An Egg Hunt
A few years ago, we celebrated Easter with a group of neighborhood kids. Adorable children gathered at our house on Easter morning. They were excited to have a traditional Easter egg hunt. We counted the eggs and the dads (my husband playing grandpa) went outside to hide these “treasures.” Kids of all ages, from about three to thirteen, searched for the eggs. The dads made some easy to find, and others harder.
The little kids went first. Once they found an egg or two, the older kids were released to search. Exclamations of joy soon came as little ones ran up to us, eyes aglow, smiles on their faces “Look! I found the special egg with the flower on it!” We also got sad looks and expressions, “I can’t find any! Can you help me?”
Searching for eggs (hidden treasures)
Soon, it seemed all the eggs were found. We brought the kids together and counted them. Hmmm. We hid 32 eggs but they’d only found 30. Now the adults joined the search. It wasn’t easy. Where in the world were those eggs? Even the dads couldn’t remember where they’d hidden them.
In much the same way, as we go through a transition, some blessings are easy to see. We find them quickly. Others take deeper searching and longer to find.
I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.
Isaiah 45:3 NIV.
3 Treasures in Transition
Transition Treasure #1: A chance to simplify and regroup.
My parents were missionaries in Africa. My husband and I have served in missions our entire adult lives. I have experienced so many transitions I am not sure I could begin to count them. As much as I hate the hard work and instability of moving, it does help me clean out my closets! We get rid of things we don’t need or haven’t used for a long time.
Getting rid of unnecessary accumulated stuff is good for us! When everything you own now fits into a few suitcases, life feels lighter and more manageable. Take time to notice that blessing and make the most of the decluttering process.
Transition Treasure #2: Growth in our reliance on God.
It isn’t easy to leave behind friends and what feels familiar. If your roots have gone deep and you feel sad about what you are leaving behind (or have left) that is a good sign. It means you are a healthy person who established a positive community where you were.
Adjusting to a new location, culture and the new people there takes time. Give yourself space and grace for the season of learning there.
With re-entry transitions, it’s amazing how awkward and uncomfortable we can now feel in that place that used to be so natural for us to “live” in. Instead of thriving, we feel like we are wilting. We struggle to fit into that place once again.
In these wilderness places, the transition brings, let your soul reach out to the one who has stayed the same. God is the one constant in your life. His love for you and your relationship with Him hasn’t changed. He is still there for you. Lean hard on Him and let Him pour water on your dry places. When you don’t have any friends to call in your new place, let loneliness become a place of solitude where you meet with the lover of your soul.
Transition Treasure #3: The pruning of transition creates space for new things to grow.
I have to say that though I know it is good for me, I don’t particularly like to be “pruned” by God! New life and new ideas are a delight, however. In his classic book Necessary Endings, Henry Cloud writes about the importance of the endings in our lives. See my review of this book here.
Without endings, new things don’t grow. And we want that right?
We need the new wine and new wineskins the Lord desires to bless us with. We must be willing to let go of the old to embrace the fresh life He wants to give. That doesn’t mean we don’t grieve the loss of what was. Make space for sorrow. Cry your tears and be real about what you are going to miss. But then breathe a prayer of faith that says, “Lord, thank you for the pruning. I want your new life to come.”
What Hidden Treasure Have You Found in Transition?
Are the treasures of this transition starting to show up like eggs in your Easter basket? Or are you still searching? Don’t be discouraged or despair. They are there. You will find them as you actively look for them. Ask God to help you open your eyes to see what He has hidden for you in this particular transition.
I’d love to hear about your hidden transition treasures! Share in the comments below or on the Missionary Life Facebook group.
When we have been disappointed, it is not easy to let ourselves risk again. So often, our past experiences dictate our willingness to hope for something different in the New Year. Being “realistic” leaves God out of the picture. It puts the God of the impossible on the shelf, the God who loves you and is able to do what you can not do. Take a risk and hope again.
“What are you waiting for?” The phrase conjures up negative thoughts. In my mind’s eye, I see angry, hurried people, pushing, and prodding. Hurry up! Get a move on! Delays can be miserable. Waiting isn’t all bad though. There is both joy and pain in …
Imagine with me. Party invitations were handed out in the room. You waited breathless and anticipating. Your card must be at the bottom of the pile they clasped in capable hands. Until the final card was distributed, there was still a glimmer of hope. Would you be invited to the special meal? Would you receive a Christmas invitation?
Seeing all the cards were gone, disappointment shot through your heart, like a thermometer’s mercury rising rapidly. I guess I wasn’t on the list, you thought, feeling sad at heart.
You may wonder where you’ll spend the holiday. At home alone? With friends? Invitations represent acceptance, love, and are an expression of friendship. They’re a symbol of inclusion in a special circle of people and can mean a lot. Christmas is a season of many joyous invitations.
Perhaps you miss celebrating with family and friends back home. Or maybe someone you loved passed away this year and it will be your first holiday without them there. Christmas can carry a multitude of bittersweet emotions.
Christmas also offers us some wonderful invitations from Father God. Will we stretch out our hand (and heart) to receive what He offers us?
A Happy, But Different, Christmas
One of our happiest Christmases on the mission field was in India. We’d been pioneering a small, but growing, ministry in the slums. Through a series of miracles, a group of believers had formed and been meeting regularly to learn from God’s Word.
Christmas is not a culturally Indian holiday. Our city had only a few signs of Christmas cheer during the weeks leading up to December 25th. No Christmas music in the stores, nor decorations and lights in the streets. What brought great joy, though, was sharing the stories of Christmas in that small fellowship as we sat on mud floors covered with simple mats.
We told of how the shepherds saw the angels appear, then went to find the babe in a manger. Watching the eyes of those we shared these stories with for the first time…it was as beautiful as any sparkling tree’s lights!
The miracle of Christ’s virgin birth somehow seemed amazingly clear.
3 Special Invitations Christmas Brings
An invitation to gaze in wonder.
This Christmas, ask God to renew your sense of child-like wonder. As adults, we can grow dull to the joys of the holiday. Even the mystery of Christ’s supernatural virgin birth can lose its miraculous glow. We’ve heard the story so often, preached it, read it. Ask God to renew your sense of awe at the reality of the stories surrounding His incredible birth.
One of the things that help me maintain a sense of awe is sharing this story with those who’ve never heard it before. Is there someone in your area? Perhaps an immigrant family, or someone from another religious background, that you could make a special effort to share it with this year?
Don’t rush through the rituals and ceremonies of Christmas. Let your mind slow down and your soul take in the joy of the season. Christmas is a time when even in the little things, you can find a rich balm for your soul.
It’s been a hard couple of years. What is one thing you could do that would bring with it a sense of joy and symbolize for you the peace God brought to this earth when He arrived?
An invitation to share with others.
Missionary life can be stressful, especially when it comes to finances. There have been times when the financial demands of the Christmas season made me wish the holiday would hurry up and be over. How will I buy new clothes for my kids this year? Gifts for our staff?
Avoid the pressure of materialism. Determine to be a giver during this season. What could you make to share with someone in need? A meal? Or could you can serve them in some way, clean up their garden or help them with other chores?
It’s amazing when we put together the little we have, how God multiplies it. Train new believers and those in the churches you’ve started to give what they have. Don’t raise outside money to feed them a feast. Instead, invite them to bring what they can. Sharing with others is part of God’s invitation to us at Christmas time.
An invitation to join His feast.
“At the time of the banquet, he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, ‘Come, for everything is now ready.’”
Luke 14:17
As mentioned in the scripture above, Jesus often told parables about feasts. The Kingdom of God was likened to a feast the Father was hosting. When the well-to-do and religious didn’t show interest in His feast, He told His servants to go and bring in the lame, blind, and those without a “right” to be there.
He is still calling us, His servants, to go out and bring them in. The poor, the broken, those with little hope. Don’t wait for your invitation to a party this Christmas. You’ve already been invited to serve at it! Go bring others in! The Master waits to welcome them through you.
What will you do to accept our Lord’s invitations this year?
“Suck it up!” My basketball coach used to tell me that when I was acting tired during our practice drills. “No pain, no gain!” In many ways, we are taught to ignore pain and push through it. I’m not saying there isn’t a place for …
Every year I ask the Lord a question. “What one thing do you want me to do this year?” I like to get my priorities crystal clear. When I know what God has said to do, I have my marching orders. I know my one …
Have you ever lost your temper? Gotten upset with fellow team members? Differences in personality, culture, and spiritual gifting can drive us apart. Or, these differences can make us strong and effective as a missionary team.
My husband and I are extreme opposites in many areas.
Sometimes he drives me crazy! Yeah, I know. I make him want to pull his hair out sometimes too. Over time though, we have learned to appreciate one another’s differences. That doesn’t mean it isn’t ever difficult!
We are so different! Sometimes that is hard. We have learned though, that it is important to make space for one another’s gifts and desires to be expressed. That makes our lives, ministry, and marriage much happier.
He is a slow, steady, and thorough processor. I am a fast, rapid decision-maker. Most of the time I am far down the road in my thinking by the time he catches up. From his perspective, I miss important details that matter when I only see the big picture.
It can feel like a real challenge some days to journey together in life and ministry. Yet together, we are a strong team, especially when we can appreciate and honor one another. As we celebrate our differences we move forward with joy.
Though this example is from marriage, it is the same in our teams. After all, if you are married, you are a missionary team first with your spouse, right?
Do They Strengthen Or Divide Your Missionary Team
Though our differences are a challenge, they can become a significant strength if we keep the right attitudes. If not, they will weaken and divide us. Over the next weeks, I will write about key areas where we commonly experience differences in our missionary teams.
I will share some of my personal experiences in these realms and give tips you can apply to your team as well. As a bonus, if you are married, you will find these articles useful for your marriage too.
A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. 1 Cor. 12:7 NLT
The Purpose Of the Gifts
I love this verse. It comes just before the list of spiritual gifts in 1 Corinthians 12. The purpose of spiritual gifts is so we can help one another! God made us different for a reason. He gave us our uniqueness so that together we would represent and serve Him well.
Are you tempted to think that different = bad? Or maybe in your mind you know different is good, but your feelings don’t line up. Different can feel really bad indeed! It certainly isn’t comfortable.
3 Areas Of Difference
In working with teams for the past twenty plus years, there are three primary areas I’ve seen teams struggle.
1) Personality and Temperament.
This has to do with who you are. Many different tools can help you understand more about yourself. They can also bring insights into who your fellow team members are. I will mention them in another resource.
Are you an introvert or an extrovert? A fast or slow processor?
Do you prefer things to stay the same or do you love change and variety?
These have to do with personality and temperament. They affect our team dynamics in very significant ways.
2) Culture and Worldview.
Some teams are made up of people from different cultures. At times those differences are extreme! Other times the variance is less radical.
On almost any team culture and worldview differences come into play as we work together. Understanding one another’s cultural background is necessary. Then, we can celebrate and benefit from differences. That is so much better than becoming angry and divided.
How important is community? Individual freedom of choice?
What do respect and honor look like in your culture?
These ways of thinking about life have a big impact on how we function as a team.
3) Spiritual Gifts and Ministry Passions.
The five-fold ministry gifts are a good starting point when talking about spiritual gifts. Those gifts are; apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor, and teacher. We should consider the other lists of spiritual gifts in light of our team as well. Check out my conversation on the Dare to Multiply podcast with Neil Cole about this. He calls it APEST.
Teachers can clash with evangelists. Why bring all these people to Christ if they never learn the Word of God and get rooted deeply in their faith? So the teachers say.
Pastors often feel apostles are too brash.
Evangelists think pastors waste too much time nurturing the flock when people are dying without the gospel.
Prophets tend to offend almost everyone at some point! Sorry, prophetic friends.
Yet each of these gifts is important to have represented in our teams. We need to make space for them to function and be welcomed if we want a strong team. Watch for more on this in future articles.
Start With Prayer And Appreciation
Let me return to my first question. Do you ever struggle with anger toward those on your team who are different from you?
Some people get angry and show it. Others simmer internally. Almost all of us find it a challenge to work with those who are not the same as we are.
It helps to remember that God, who knows what is best for His Kingdom’s advance, designed us this way. He made us different so we could help each other build His Church and take His purposes forward. We need each other.
Take a moment to thank God for the differences in your team or marriage. Pray a prayer and thank God specifically for the person you struggle most with.
Thank God for that perspective or personality trait that is so different from yours. Then if you want to go the extra mile, this week, let them know you are grateful for who they are.
Which of these three areas do you find most challenging in your team? Differences in personality, culture, or ministry passion?
Ever talk to yourself? Every once in a while, I accidentally find myself exclaiming something out loud. I suddenly notice what I meant to say silently in my mind has slipped out my lips. “Come on Anderson, do it right!” is one. Or I utter …
