Living faithful, fruitful and fulfilled on the mission field
Every time I meet him, I am encouraged and strengthened. He has the gift of affirmation and is specific in his praise. When I am with this leader, I feel believed in. I know he is for me, cheering for me as I pursue my …
“Go away for a retreat? I couldn’t. There was so much to do. We were growing fast. Many new believers called every day. I was rapidly training leaders and yet never finished my work before falling into bed at night exhausted.” Busy leaders often fail …
Significance. It’s a human need. Sometimes even greater than food and shelter, our souls long for significance. We want our lives to make a difference…to count for something. People search for meaning in all kinds of unhealthy places. Fame, money, power, status…all promise to fill the significance void. Even missionaries struggle in this area. We wonder if the work we do has eternal purpose or not. The question looms large. Am I making any difference at all?
Missionary life, with its inherent challenge, turns up the volume on a soul crying out, “I want my life to matter!”
Our enemy, Satan, uses this natural desire for significance against us. He wants to turn our longings in the wrong direction. He spews forth lies, saying, “You are worthless. What you are doing on the mission field is having no impact. You might as well get a ‘normal’ job.” Or, he pushes us toward ministry opportunities that build our ego, but aren’t what God is asking us to do.
The need and the longing for significance were put within us by God. Because it comes from Him, it’s a wonderful, sacred desire to embrace. The Creator designed us to want to live purposefully. He wants His follower’s lives to have a deeply significant impact on others.
Significance in the Kingdom, however, looks nothing like the picture the enemy would want us to desire.
Living a purposeful life is not about fame, money, or status. Nor does it look like the somewhat disguised “Christian version” of the same. It’s not about developing a well-known ministry. It’s not about becoming a sought-after speaker, having a huge team, or property for your ministry. Big does not equal significance in God’s perspective.
Kingdom impact comes when ordinary people live day-after-day in obedience and faith. Every step of obedience you take has a great impact. It is significant. Much more than you realize.
It was a weird experience. I’d been asked to speak at a conference in a Christian state of India. We arrived at the venue where the meetings were taking place. Thousands had gathered in a big tent that was set up in an open field. As we got out of the car, we were escorted to special seats in a little tent beside the stage.
As my time to speak approached, I tried to focus on what God had put in my heart to share. “Use me, Lord!” I prayed.
When I walked up the stairs to the platform and stood behind the pulpit, a rush of people came running to the front. Cameras flashed from below. Afterward, as I was escorted back to my car to leave, people asked for my autograph, or for special prayer. It made me feel important…sort of. I felt the attraction, the pull of false significance.
Was I important now?
It would have been easy at that point to shift my ministry toward those kinds of opportunities…the ones that made me feel so very important. It was a temptation to give my time to these things.
Jesus spoke about the Pharisees who sought fame and status – the false significance the world offers.
“Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries a wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others.” Matt 23:5-7
At a foundational level, we must remember that nothing we do can make us more valuable and more significant in God’s eyes. His perspective on us is the one that matters!
You were already significant enough that Jesus died for you. You were important enough that He chose you. He called you to be His follower and to embrace His call to service in His Kingdom.
No more striving is needed! You are already significant and incredibly important to God.
Our significance in the Kingdom is not an issue. We just established that. But our Kingdom impact is designed by God to increase day by day. How does that happen? Through consistent. faithful obedience. As we listen to God and do what He says, day after day, year after year…our impact grows.
God designed His Kingdom to grow in organic, natural ways. Jesus told the parable of the mustard seed and the yeast in Matthew 13. Those stories illustrate how it isn’t big things, but small, simple (and often hidden) things that multiply His Kingdom. These have the greatest impact.
One small step of obedience, like going over and having tea with your neighbor who doesn’t know the Lord yet. Taking time to show kindness to the widow who lost her husband. Meeting once again with that staff person who needs encouragement. Ordinary people obeying God, making disciples who make disciples…that is how the Kingdom grows and multiplies.
A desire for significance, when embraced in a healthy way, pushes us toward faith for greater things. God desires to release them through us. Our longing for significance makes us want more. It’s from God. He too wants more for us! He wants to do greater things through us!
Lean into the desire for significance. When questions come up in your mind? What doubts? Let God use them for good. He made you for more than you currently are seeing happen through your life. The Father does have bigger plans for you…plans for greater impact than you are currently seeing.
Check out our free course where I talk more about how He chose us for great fruitfulness and other key identities. Just click the image below to sign up!
Take a few extra minutes this week to meditate further on the parables mentioned above. They are found in Matthew 13 verses 31-33. How are you like the yeast in the dough? Like the mustard seed?
I’d love to hear any insights you have about this! Feel free to share in the comments below or on the Missionary Life Insiders Facebook page.
The desires and needs of husbands and wives are often quite different. Learning to value one another’s marriage desires is necessary for maintaining a healthy marriage. Doing a marriage desires exercise can help.
It’s been said that the only constant in the life of a missionary is constant change. Transition. Probably true for most people, not only missionaries though we do have a higher degree of change to deal with. It begs the question – how do we approach our continual transitions with grace? We need to look for the hidden treasures of our transition seasons.
Fresh starts and new beginnings, it’s why so many of us enjoy the celebration of New Years. It’s a chance to let go of the past and start afresh. Sometimes that is a relief. At other times it’s difficult. Will you start this new year with fresh hope?
It’s definitely not guaranteed. Hope can be scary…really quite terrifying. Hope can disappoint. As scripture says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick” (Prov 13:12).
Why consider hoping again if there is a chance you will be disappointed? I’ve definitely asked that question before!
Whether our dreams have to do with marriage, ministry, family, weight-loss, or relationships, God wants us to start the new year with a fresh download of hope. He wants to release into our hearts a hope that has no limit, a hope that just won’t quit.
Fresh experiences of our Lord’s perfect love cast out every fear. Knowing His goodness enables us to hope, dream, and trust for the release of His promises. Our deepest God-inspired longings are given the freedom to fly. We can hope again.
Have you ever really wanted something badly? As a child, it may have been a particular toy you hoped would be under the Christmas tree. You opened the gift, thinking it would be one thing, and then found it was not. It was not easy to disguise your disappointment. You got a book when you wanted a bike. Or something like that.
Children don’t try to hide their grief. When they are delighted, they show it. My neighbor’s daughter got a plastic tea set for Christmas. She jumped up and down, squealing with delight. But when kids are disappointed, they wail. Their sadness is loudly expressed. Covering our emotions is something we learn to do a bit later in life.
As adults, though we may not let ourselves wail, we experience deep disappointments. We hope for relationships restored, but instead experience anger, withdrawal, or verbal thrashings. We hope for healing, but find we are sicker than ever.
Maybe you prayed for something faithfully and consistently throughout the past year. Today, you feel no closer to seeing it become a reality than when you started. Or the ministry progress you dreamed would happen last year fell far short of what you anticipated. “Maybe this year I need to make more realistic goals,” you think to yourself.
Don’t give in to hopelessness. It’s not what God has for you. He wants you to dream with Him for the New Year.
Instead of looking to the past to decide if you can hope again, look up. God alone is the source of our hope. When His love fills our hearts, we can hope again. As tempting as it is to base our decisions on circumstances, we need to base them on His Word and character. Look up, not back as you think about the New Year.
When we have been disappointed, it is not easy to let ourselves risk again. So often, our past experiences dictate our willingness to hope for something different in the New Year. Being “realistic” leaves God out of the picture. It puts the God of the impossible on the shelf, the God who loves you and is able to do what you can not do. Take a risk and hope again.
I’m not sure if hope is a choice, but I know love is. It is a decision we make. We choose to love. The love chapter in 1st Corinthians speaks of this. I am struck this year, by a phrase from the International Standard Version- there is no limit to her hope.
“She bears up under everything; believes the best in all; there is no limit to her hope, and never will she fall.”
1 Cor 13:7 ISV
Over the next few days, I am setting aside time to prayerfully set goals for the New Year. Goals are different from the typical New Year’s resolutions…the ones we keep for about a week, or a month, then forget. That does little good.
Instead, look to God and listen. Ask Him what He desires to do in your life and ministry this year. When the goals come from listening to Him, they become achievable, hopeful goals you can go after with all your heart.
Do this for both personal and ministry areas. Reflect back on what happened last year. Think through the books you read, experiences gained, lessons learned and opportunities you were given.
As you look forward, listen to God. Ask Him to guide you as the New Year begins.
As is my habit each year, I will ask God, “What is one thing I can do this year that would make the biggest difference in seeing Your Kingdom advance?” I will be prayerfully charting out my year, making plans and decisions about where to invest my time and energy.
As you start the year, adopt a posture of hope with a heart full of faith. Put your hope in God and His goodness. His character, His promises, and His love are the foundation from which we can dream with Him about the new year.
If you are struggling to hope again this year, you are not alone. God wants to meet you there. Be honest and real about your emotions. Take time to get away for a few hours or days if you can. Invite God to meet you where you are. He longs to fill your heart with hope again.
What God is asking you to believe Him for in the New Year? Let me know in the comments. Or join the Missionary Life Facebook Group and post your goals there.
Happy New Year! May this year be your best year ever!
“What are you waiting for?” The phrase conjures up negative thoughts. In my mind’s eye, I see angry, hurried people, pushing, and prodding. Hurry up! Get a move on! Delays can be miserable. Waiting isn’t all bad though. There is both joy and pain in …
Imagine with me. Party invitations were handed out in the room. You waited breathless and anticipating. Your card must be at the bottom of the pile they clasped in capable hands. Until the final card was distributed, there was still a glimmer of hope. Would …
“Suck it up!” My basketball coach used to tell me that when I was acting tired during our practice drills. “No pain, no gain!” In many ways, we are taught to ignore pain and push through it. I’m not saying there isn’t a place for deep determination and perseverance on the mission field! There is! But that differs from suppressing our emotions and acting like we don’t feel the pain. Missionary depression is real and common.
I want to introduce you to an extremely helpful tool. This simple exercise has done wonders for my emotional health on the mission field. Suppressed emotions will make you sick- physically and emotionally. If you are sick, you have little ability to help others around you. Don’t “suck it up” and try to be tough, pretending you are okay when you are not. Be real and get those emotions out.
Doing an “Emotional Jug” to Jesus, with your spouse, or close friend can make a world of difference!
When I say that emotional suppression can make you depressed, I mean it. I wish I could say that I had read that on the internet or in some counseling book and that was how I learned about this. But, no, that wouldn’t be true. I learned it the hard way, through personal experience with missionary depression.
Some years ago, I went through what might be called a “perfect storm.” Situation after situation led to emotional depletion. One crisis was followed by another crisis, in our work and ministry. A series of disappointments, discouragements, and betrayals took a tremendous amount of energy.
Then, a visiting pastor from our home church became deathly sick. We worked day and night to arrange for her medical evacuation.
This took a lot out of me, but I felt I had to “soldier on.” People were depending on me. I was a leader. After resting a day or two I carried on doing my work. I had no idea that a serious case of missionary depression was threatening.
I started to notice that I didn’t seem to have any feelings anymore. There was more of a sense of dullness inside. Depression was beginning to take hold of me, though I didn’t recognize it. When my depression became serious, I sought treatment and professional help. Over several months, I had to work hard to get in touch with what I was feeling inside. I had shut those emotions off to be able to cope.
Part of what helped me heal, was learning the tool I want to introduce here. It’s called an Emotional Jug. I wish I had known before how to use this simple tool. It would have saved my family and me a lot of pain. The long-term consequences of full-blown depression are significant. It took many years on medication to fully recover.
A major cause of missionary depression is that we don’t know how to properly deal with our emotions. We must learn how to acknowledge them to ourselves, to God, and to those we are closest to.
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick…” Proverbs 13:12
When we face grief, disappointment, betrayal, and loss, we must make space in our lives to “feel.” Otherwise, we are at risk.
This simple tool isn’t complicated, but it makes an important difference. It is called an “Emotional Jug.” My therapist heard about this from an organization called P.A.I.R.s.
Often I write the answers to these questions out in my journal. I express these things to Jesus. But sometimes I do it with my husband as well. Both are helpful. If you are doing it with your spouse or a friend, this is what you do.
Friend asks: What are you mad about?
You respond: I am mad because….
Friend asks: What else are you mad about?
You respond: I am also mad about this…
Continue to say anything that comes to your mind. Even if you might be only slightly angry or irritated about it.
The other person doesn’t reply or try to fix you or explain anything. They simply listen and continue to ask you the same question until there is nothing else you can think of.
The friend then asks: What are you sad about?
You respond: I feel sad because….
Again, you continue with as many things as you can think of. The other person just keeps asking and listening.
You do the same with the questions;
At the end, the friend or spouse thanks the person speaking for being willing to share what is going on inside of them. If need be, at that point you can switch roles. Now you can ask your friend the same 4 questions. You be the listener.
When finished, pray together asking God for wisdom and strength. Request His help as you process these difficult feelings you’ve shared.
Simple right? It really is! Mad, sad, scared and glad. These 4 primary emotions tell us a lot about what is going on inside!
Don’t be surprised if when you first start doing this with someone or in your journal, it takes awhile. Many times we have become numb to what we are feeling. But if you give it a little time and are patient, some minor things will come to your mind. Then, slowly, the deeper feelings will surface.
Why not try doing this exercise with someone today? It only takes about 20 minutes and can seriously help!
You might not be depressed or anxious. That is great! Then you will have a lot of things to say you are glad about. But you might be surprised at what comes out as well.
Missionary depression is much more common than you would think. We face a lot of difficult disappointments, traumas, and losses on the mission field. You don’t need to become unhealthy. There are skills and tools you can learn like this one. They help us live fulfilling and wonderful lives on the field despite intense challenges.
I did an emotional jug today! It helped! Why don’t you do one too? Let me know in the comments how it went and if doing this helped or not.
For more information about how to do an Emotional Jug, and for other helpful resources see the Pairs.com website.
Every year I ask the Lord a question. “What one thing do you want me to do this year?” I like to get my priorities crystal clear. When I know what God has said to do, I have my marching orders. I know my one …