Living faithful, fruitful and fulfilled on the mission field
My heart pounded as I approached the immigration line. What would they say? Would I be allowed to enter the country? Would my bags be searched? I’d shared my testimony with someone on the plane feeling prompted by the Holy Spirit. Had I been courageous …
Have you ever met a missionary who seemed angry with the people of the country they worked in? Their mouths are always spouting off negative comments about the traffic, the food, and the way of life of the people in their host country? It’s an …
Reverse culture shock…it’s real. I’d returned to the United States after many years in India. Why do we need to make appointments two weeks in advance to see our friends? When I stop by, why am I not invited in for tea? I felt confused. Hospitality in Western culture is not a high value. It is a biblical one. This practice must be developed in the lives of those who wish to minister cross-culturally.
I wrote about hospitality in 10 Qualities of a Cross-Cultural Minister. Let’s go a bit deeper.
For some, hospitality comes naturally. For others, you will need to make an intentional effort. What hospitality looks like is varied, depending on your culture. It is also impacted by age.
Effectiveness as a missionary will be dramatically affected by your willingness (or lack of such) to develop the biblical practice of hospitality. This is true no matter what culture or generation you come from.
I have to admit, hospitality is not my gift. My husband’s personality is much more hospitable. It is something I have worked to develop.
In India, where we lived for many years, their worldview says “guests should be treated the same as god.” It comes from the Sanskrit phrase “atithi devo bhava.” Guests are frequently welcomed into homes and offered a cup of tea or some kind of food.
It doesn’t matter how busy you are, or what you are in the middle of doing. If someone comes to your door or you meet them by chance, you stop what you are doing and offer hospitality.
Middle-eastern cultures are like this as well.
Talking with a stranger on an airplane on my way to Kabul some years ago, I was invited for a meal. I’d never met this person before. We’d only had a few minutes of conversation, exchanging stories about our children.
As a guest in her country, she offered hospitality to me. That meal, would not be a mere cup of tea. It would be a feast.
Though not a Jesus follower, in many ways, this woman was more biblical in her practice of hospitality than I was.
It took time to develop this new habit in my life. There are times I still work at it. It did become normal for me to offer at least some kind of beverage and snack to anyone at any time. When we returned to our Western culture, I missed this.
An overseer must not give people a reason to criticize him, and he must have only one wife. He must be self-controlled, wise, respected by others, ready to welcome guests, and able to teach.
1 Tim 3:2 New Century Version
It is easy to get busy. In our search for productivity and value, we take on more than we should. We get sucked into projects that aren’t God’s assignments for us. Meetings are planned we feel obligated to be part of. Busyness is the enemy of hospitality.
Often, our identity is connected to our ability to produce work. Even our fruitfulness in the Kingdom can become a search for identity and a sense of value.
Jesus was different from this. He was never too busy trying to produce fruit or building the Kingdom to stop and chat with a child or a widow. His ease and relaxed manner made Him more effective and more fruitful. People always mattered more to Him than a goal or agenda.
Sometimes we are lazy to provide hospitality. It’s hard work. Welcoming people and offering them a place at our table means we are willing to make an effort. We can be hesitant to do this. Other things matter more to us. “We don’t even have any relationship with these strangers. Why make time for them?” we ask.
We don’t want to open our homes (or our lives) because people will see who we are. Our false self, the image we project on Facebook or Instagram is different than our real lives. If people enter our homes spontaneously, they may see that our floor is dirty or our bathroom not clean.
Welcoming people into our homes does make us vulnerable. We don’t know these people. Will they judge us? Steal from us? Gossip about us? We must put these fears aside and be willing to be known by others…even by strangers. Let God protect your image.
Fear is even stronger now, with the COVID 19 pandemic. Not only about image, or theft, but fear of sickness. How can you be hospitable while still being wise during this season?
It costs money and time to offer hospitality. We are tired from our normal work. Now, we must go the extra mile to plan a meal or organize a party.
When we are stretched financially, we struggle to give. Realizing we can’t afford to give the best (buying chicken and the nicest rice for example), we don’t want to give at all. “Give and it will be given unto you,” the Bible says (Luke 6:38). We can’t out give God. Don’t let your own lack prevent you from offering hospitality to others.
I’m grateful to serve in a mission that values hospitality. Our core values state it this way, “we affirm the ministry of hospitality as an expression of God’s character and the value of people. We believe it is important to open our hearts, homes, and campuses to serve and honor one another, our guests, and the poor and needy, not as acts of social protocol, but as expressions of generosity.” (Value 17)
You may serve with another mission, or be someone who wants to reach out to immigrants or people of other cultures. This biblical value and practice will help you relate well to people of other cultures and build bridges into their hearts.
In spite of the pandemic, find one way you can be hospitable to a stranger this week. Offer a pre-packaged packet of biscuits they can open themselves. Invite them for a meal. Open your front porch if your dining room table is off-limits because of the virus. Welcome guests and strangers. I’d love to hear what you did, or questions you have in the comments below or in the Missionary Life Facebook group.
The Lord’s Prayer is a wonderful model. We use it to teach new disciples how to pray. There are other prayers our Lord prayed that can be instructive to us as missionaries as well. In this article, we will spend time looking at the prayer …
Scripture sometimes frustrates me. I get annoyed when the realities of scripture don’t seem to match my life. Ever happen to you? Like the verse found in Isaiah 40:31, “they will run and not grow weary…” Hmmm. I get tired, really tired, sometimes. Perhaps you …
It’s a bit of a cliché, but it’s true. Wounded people wound others. When someone lashes out at you in an extreme way, it is likely more their issue than yours. We need the wisdom to know how to love emotionally unhealthy people. I wish I could say that everyone on the mission field is healthy and will always behave in a mature and godly manner. It’s just not true.
The reality is, most of us struggle at times with unhealthy responses and over-reactions. We get triggered by things that are said or done. Something deep inside of us responds…the wounded child, not the mature adult. This happens to our teammates too.
At times you will have to interact with people who are severely broken inside. They may be suffering from a mental illness like depression, borderline personality, or narcissism.
Diagnosed or not, we work with them. They are part of our missionary families and teams. We find ourselves in situations where we are not in a place to require them to get help. How do we interact in love, but stay healthy ourselves?
God wants us to develop a compassionate view toward those who are suffering. We must recognize their outbursts and over-reactions as a cry for help. These are symptoms of deeper problems. We must learn not to take them personally. This isn’t easy. It’s not easy at all.
For many years I was ignorant about what it was like to suffer in an area of mental health. When I unexpectedly began to struggle with severe depression and saw a counselor, a new world opened to me. I began to learn. With treatment and medication, I was able to recover. As I have shared my story with others, I’ve realized I was not alone. Many people suffer from depression.
Since then, I have talked with missionaries who shared their mental health struggles. Some shared they were bi-polar. Others have been treated for numerous other mental health issues. These are good people. They are great missionaries whom I deeply respect. Mental illness is not their fault. It is deserving of compassion, not scorn or judgment.
Undiagnosed and untreated mental health problems cause huge marriage and team issues in the field. The stigma of mental illness is still very significant. (Stigma is “a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person”).
Many are terrified to admit they are struggling and seek help. They need our compassion and sensitivity, not anger or disdain. It is a very tough road to walk as we navigate around their unhealthy reactions. It is even harder for them to cope with their deep inner pain.
Compassion is defined as- the sympathetic concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as in Christ, God forgave you.”
Eph. 4:32
Will you choose compassion over judgment when interacting with an unhealthy person?
Below are five things to consider, as you seek, with God’s help, to love the unhealthy people in your life. Determine to love them well.
Unhealthy people will want you to immediately respond. Their problems and the constant crisis created around them can suck the very life out of you. Don’t allow that. It’s okay to say “I’m not able to listen to you when you talk that way to me. Let’s talk later.” You can politely walk away. Don’t let them control or manipulate you into immediately dropping what matters to you, and doing things their way. This doesn’t actually help them.
When you set healthy boundaries, they will behave better as they interact with you. The book Boundaries, by Cloud and Townsend, can help you further. It gives great guidelines related to this.
Continue to love your friends, colleagues, or family members who struggle with brokenness in their lives. They will try to control you or push you away. Don’t let them. Choose to love emotionally unhealthy people unconditionally. That doesn’t mean you have to like the way they behave. Love is a decision you make. Commit to love them no matter what they do. Choose not to take offense, or hold on to unforgiveness related to their interactions with you.
One of the most helpful things you can do for those in your life who are unhealthy is to stay healthy yourself. That means taking sabbaths, resting well, and doing things to refresh yourself in God. Prioritize your own emotional health and well-being. By doing this, you will have the stamina and space needed to love them when they respond out of brokenness.
I have to tell myself this. It seems counter-intuitive. We are conditioned to give more than what we have…to give sacrificially to others. This is a good thing for many. It is not a good thing when relating to an unhealthy person. When you give to them sacrificially, they will often demand even more.
Ask yourself, “Do I have the ability to give to this person right now?” They may want you to listen to them complain, or tell a long story of how violated they feel. Or they may say manipulative things like, “No one here loves me. I wish someone would spend time with me.” Look inward. If you have extra energy and time, give it. Don’t tap into your reserves to give beyond what you are able. It will not help them in the end, and it will harm your ability to love the other healthy people in your life well.
Stability is deeply reassuring to those who are working through brokenness. Knowing that you will always respond with gentle, firm, compassionate boundaries, communicates safety. They can trust and count on you. Others might give up on them, but you will be there, not without boundaries, but with love.
If you believe a friend, family member or colleague is struggling with a mental health issue, prayerfully encourage them to get help.
Let them know you don’t think badly of them for their struggle. Have a crucial conversation and encourage them to think about the long-term effects on their life, family, and ministry. They may not listen to you, but someday later, they may feel less condemned if they seek counsel.
Having a small inner circle of friends walk with you through mental illness is vital. Are you compassionate enough to be one of those people? Do you need that in your own life?
If you have noticed extreme reactions in yourself or others, consider talking to a counselor about it. Help and healing are available. It’s not too late.
Are there other things you’ve found to be helpful when interacting with unhealthy teammates on the mission field? I’d be interested to hear about those in the comments below or on the Missionary Life Facebook group.
As we go to new nations and begin ministry there, the idea of fruitfulness is on our minds. We imagine the impact we can have and the lives that will be changed because of us being there. This is a noble thing. We should desire …
“Do more! Bigger is better! Climb the highest mountain! You can have it all!” Recognize anything about these statements? I’ve been thinking a lot about the importance of a steady life pace. Does the pace of my life reflect the Way of Jesus? It’s an …
“A vacation? I don’t need that! It’s expensive,” we say. “The needs of the ministry are too pressing.” The same goes for food, exercise, rest…even fun. Missionaries take care of everyone else, but self-care is usually last on our long list of needs. This philosophy does not lend to missionaries who live faithful, fruitful and fulfilled on the field. It poorly reflects the love relationship we have with God. He adores His children and desires to see them live blessed.
I am not in favor of prosperity doctrines. They are not biblical and can be very damaging. As missionaries, we must be ready to embrace both joy and suffering in our lives. Though this is true, we also must be careful about developing a “ministry takes priority over all else” way of thinking.
You are valuable to God. He loves you personally. God is a good Father who cares about your family and life, not only about what you do for Him. It is pleasing to God when a missionary takes care of their body, soul, and spirit. We must invest time and effort in doing this.
Normally, we do pretty well with the spiritual. It’s the soul and body we neglect.
A balanced lifestyle that includes care of our physical body is crucial to living well as missionaries. It is necessary for long-term effectiveness in ministry too.
I arrived at the missionary training center where I was to speak. After settling into my room, they escorted me to the dining area. A special table was set for me and the leader. I was served chicken and a generous portion of vegetables and rice. There was even a bit of salad. It was a nice meal.
A few days into my teaching, I asked if I could sit with the students. As I sat down next to them, I looked at their food. They were eating rice, dahl (lentils) and only a tiny portion of vegetables. There was no salad, fruit, or meat on their plates.
I asked the training school leader about it. “Oh, we can’t afford to give them meat, salad, and fruit! That is much too expensive. They are missionaries in training. We don’t want to spoil them,” he declared.
“Hmmm.” I thought. “What are we teaching them about God’s goodness? What are we teaching them about healthy eating when this is what we offer?”
Reflecting on it further, I came to a conclusion. “If God can provide rice and dahl, He is big enough to also provide a healthy diet that includes vegetables, fruit, and meat.” I challenged the school leader to consider what their meal plan was communicating about the nature and character of God. It is one thing to teach that He is good in the classroom. But does our lifestyle and menu also reflect that?
“If God can provide rice and dahl, He is big enough to also provide a healthy diet that includes vegetables, fruit, and meat.”
Are you taking care of others, but not yourself?
“My mother’s sons were angry with me and made me take care of the vineyards; my own vineyard I had to neglect.”
Song of Solomon 1:6 NIV
What you put in your mouth affects how you function and feel. As many missionaries age, we struggle with weight gain. Along with this comes many diseases and health issues. Knees cause problems, heart issues surface and diabetes can become an issue for some.
When we are struggling with our health we are not able to serve God as fully as we would like to.
Whatever age you are, you can begin to eat a healthier diet. Don’t use the excuse of finances or travel to keep from healthy eating.
Believe me, I get it! It’s not easy to eat well when you are busy and travel frequently. Nor is it easy on a limited budget to get enough protein and vitamins. It’s much easier to just eat a high starch diet (potatoes, rice, corn, etc.) Easy is not always best.
Sugar has many negative effects on our bodies. It causes inflammation and many other issues.
Diets help but they rarely bring long-term change. What changes could you make to your diet to improve your health? What could you decide to eliminate? Soft drinks? Chips? Fried foods?
Ask the Lord to show you one step to take to eat healthier this coming week.
Regular physical exercise is an important part of sustained health. As we age and are busier and busier, it often gets shoved aside. Even if you don’t enjoy sports, make a habit of taking a morning or evening walk around the neighborhood. It can even be combined with your prayer time.
I find that exercise with others is often more enjoyable and I can stay accountable. Is there someone in the neighborhood, a friend or a spouse you could begin to exercise with on a regular basis?
Combining strength-building exercises and cardiovascular exercises (running, swimming, walking) is best. Do one thing to exercise each day. You will feel better and stay healthier. Think about the long-term aspects of your health, not only about the needs of today.
Sleep is a wonderful healer of both our emotions and bodies. When we go without sleep it affects our moods and our productivity.
Make it a habit to go to bed at a decent hour and wake up at the same time each day. If you struggle with sleep, consider seeing a doctor or take some herbal medications to help you relax. I often use melatonin (an herbal sleep aid) especially when traveling. Everyone is different, but most people require seven to eight hours of sleep each night.
Rest is very important to overall health. A good quality Sabbath and nightly rest improve your quality of life. They also increase your overall sense of well-being.
It is easy for us to think that we are stronger than most people and don’t really need the above things. “I can make it without sleep,” we think. “I can’t afford good food this week,” or “I don’t have time to sit down and eat a meal today,” are common ways of thinking. These inner conversations don’t lead to fulfilling lives that reflect the Kingdom.
What change will you make this week to take better care of your body and soul? Changes are made one decision at a time. Tell someone about it and ask them to hold you accountable. Or post your decision in the comments below or on the Missionary Life Facebook group.
Did you know that I’m starting a brand-new podcast? It will be released on June 6th. Sign up via the form below to be notified of new episodes.
Mission work often attracts mavericks. The challenge, the adventure of going to a far off and difficult place, it inspires pioneer types. Not every missionary has a maverick personality, but many do. These character qualities are a great help in the boldness and tenacity needed …