Living faithful, fruitful and fulfilled on the mission field
How do you share the gospel effectively with Buddhists? We have been posting recently on how to communicate the gospel to people of other religions. This week’s post is written by Jay Judson. He has seen thousands of Buddhists come to Christ. Through his team, …
One day I was teaching in a discipleship school. I got an emergency phone call. The country we were working in was not friendly towards Christians. The police had come and arrested many of my friends. My family and I were under threat. Trouble had …
“Flex!” the team leader said loudly. My friend, Tim, led many short-term mission trips. Flex is his favorite word. When we received teams he was leading, we noticed this word used often. Learning how to be flexible, being willing to adapt, and able to adjust, are attitudes and skills that lead to fruitful cross-cultural work.
Adjusting to other ways of thinking and doing is not easy. Most anyone can make adjustments for a few weeks on a short-term trip. Adapting to another culture, in the long-term, takes great determination.
Are you willing to lay down your own ways, paradigms, and worldview to interact in meaningful ways with those you desire to reach? This will determine the depth of your missional impact. It is a lot more than being willing to eat strange food, though that is important. This has to do with developing cultural humility and a welcoming spirit. It demands we repent of pride, and let go of our desire to be in control. These are not easy, but they shape and mold us into Christ-likeness.
My trainee had been in Cambodia for six months. In his training, we had taught about adapting to culture and its importance. At first, it was fun and exciting to live in a new land. That soon wore off. Now, he missed home, especially his own food.
Being from the land of spices, many of the things that might bother a Westerner were not difficult for him. What was hard was the food. “Why would that be a struggle?” I wondered. Rice and flavorful sauces…they seemed similar to me! Not to him.
When I arrived, he was struggling deeply. As I probed, he blurted out his issue. “I can’t understand why they have to put sugar in their curry. That is not the right way to make curry!”
We have a tendency to think our own ways of cooking, eating, thinking, relating…basically of doing everything, are the right ways. Until you get beyond this, it’s very hard to adjust.
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.
Romans 12:3 NIV.
This is one of the easiest in many ways, though as in the example of my Indian friend, it can become challenging over time. Not only must you be willing to try new foods, you must take the next step and learn to cook them. Let their commonly eaten food become what you frequently eat as well. Food is a huge bridge into the hearts of the people you want to reach.
We each have our own distinctive styles of clothing we prefer. Adapting to another completely different way of dressing is difficult. For a man who has never worn a piece of cloth wrapped around their waste, it feels strange. Wearing national clothing, even when those around you have westernized, shows love for the culture of those you want to reach. It communicates…I like you and your people!
Even learning a few phrases of another language opens hearts. When you speak well and fluently, you are much more likely to be accepted as an insider. This takes great effort and time. I recommend learning language in a style that builds long-term relationships. Language learning can truly be ministry!
I admit. This can be a hard one for me. Getting things done quickly, and ticked off my list is my definite personality preference. Much flexibility has been required of me in this area.
It is easy to get angry when things don’t happen quickly and our goals are not met. Whether it is waiting in a long and crowded line, the inefficiency of the way things are being done (in your perspective), you will need to adjust. It goes the other way as well. Perhaps you are now working in a Western nation where speed and efficiency are highly valued by those around you.
Another factor to observe is what it means to be “on time.” For a person from Switzerland, or the Netherlands, on time means five minutes early. In some cultures, you can be several hours late and its still considered “on time.”
We must be willing to let go of our preferences and adopt the patterns of the people we are working among. In Thailand, where I’ve lived for a few years now, there is nothing more distasteful to them then a pushy, agitated person who is in a hurry. Your witness can be destroyed in a few moments due to your inability to be flexible as it relates to time.
If you come from a nation where democratic processes are in place, you will naturally prefer that style. Those from hierarchical cultures naturally are more comfortable when there is an older leader who takes charge. “Why do they keep asking me what I want to do? They are the leader!” the local team members might think.
Learning to adapt to the authority structure of the culture you work among will save a lot of stress. Recognize the differences, and let go of your judgments about them. They are not right or wrong, just different.
How decisions are made is a very cultural thing. In some cultures, the oldest person present makes the final decision. Other cultures are communal. Nothing is decided until there is complete consensus. Don’t assume that the way your culture makes decisions is the best way for the context you are in. Observe the way things get decided among your people and flow with it. You’ll accomplish much more this way then if you try to impose a culturally different process.
This is another key worldview issue. What you considered most valuable may not be what they think is important. Adjust and adapt. Value and esteem what they value, and not only will they like and trust you, but it will be fruitful as well.
Here’s an example. Some cultures have a high value for education. Telling Chinese or Korean parents that education shouldn’t matter to them is not going to be fruitful. Instead, why not show value to it by offering tuition to their children as a way to build relationships? Instead of resisting a cultural norm, you can flow with it and use it for the Kingdom.
While I wish I could tell you that after a few years you will be fine, I can’t. Willingness to be flexible, adapt and adjust in new cultures is life-long if we desire to be a missional person. It keeps us leaning on God and walking in humility, continually asking for His help.
What is your greatest struggle with cross-cultural adaptation?
Share in the comments below or on the Missionary Life Facebook group.
In missions (and life), I’m not big on formulas. I’ve found that often A+ B just doesn’t equal C. But in John 15, Jesus gives us a simple answer for how to become more fruitful. Spiritual Rituals Bring Life After returning from a long trip, …
My heart pounded as I approached the immigration line. What would they say? Would I be allowed to enter the country? Would my bags be searched? I’d shared my testimony with someone on the plane feeling prompted by the Holy Spirit. Had I been courageous …
Have you ever met a missionary who seemed angry with the people of the country they worked in? Their mouths are always spouting off negative comments about the traffic, the food, and the way of life of the people in their host country? It’s an ugly reality that many missionaries struggle to adapt and love their adopted nation and its people. I’ve been there. No judgments from me.
We can’t stay there though.
Maybe it’s not cultural and external things. At a deeper, more profound level, you feel disgusted with the sin around you.
Unless we develop God’s heart for those around us, we will never be able to reach them. Until we are able to show empathy, compassion and love, our message will fall flat.
I listened to my friend speak. The words came from the mouth of someone I respected – a veteran missionary. I’d learned many things from this person over the years.
As he spoke, I wanted to rush to his side and place my hand over his mouth. “Please don’t say those kinds of things about the people of this land!” My mind shouted. My actual voice stayed silent. I continued to listen.
I could hear the disgust and judgment in his voice. He spoke of the evil practices around him; the sexual immorality, the gender confusion, the ungodly behavior. What he said was not false. But it was said with harshness. Anger was boiling over and spilling out.
“Oh Lord! His judgment creates a bigger barrier to the gospel than anything language or culture ever could,” I thought. It threatened to damaged my opinion of this minister. His words were like an ugly garment wrapped around his being.
Then, I had to look inward. Did I judge and blame those I was trying to reach as well? Was my heart reflecting God’s heart for them? Could I see them from His perspective, as His beloved creation? Made in His image and in need of His love and restoration?
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.
1 Pet. 4:8
As ministers of the gospel, we desperately need to receive God’s heart for those around us. Apart from His love flowing through us, we will have minimal impact on the lost.
Gaining a Christ-like perspective on others isn’t as easy as it sounds. We must intentionally pursue empathy, compassion, and seek to identify with the needs of others. As we do this, we begin to develop a heart for them.
One definition of empathy is “the ability to sense other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling.”
Often when we hear others express their views or struggles, we focus on offering solutions. We want to help by telling them how to solve their problems.
This the opposite of what they need! Instead, we must try to understand what they are feeling and show that understanding. Being heard and understood is a great human need.
To do this, we step outside of ourselves and listen well. We listen not only to the words, but to the emotions beneath the words. We reflect back to them what we are hearing, showing we have listened well.
You might ask someone “How does that make you feel?” as opposed to “What do you think about that?”
Some of us are natural “feelers.” We pick up emotional cues easily. Others are more intellectual. They are thinkers. For those of us in that category, we must be intentional about developing empathy in our lives.
When listening with empathy, we then take the next step. We identify with their pain.
I need to make clear what this is and isn’t though. It is not saying something like, “Yeah, I’ve faced those things and even worse! You will get over this soon as I did.” That is not helpful at all. That kind of identification belittles their very real situation and issue. It is a put-down rather than a hand extended to pull them up.
Instead, we might vulnerably say something like, “I am sorry you are going through that. A few years ago, I went through something similar and it was deeply painful. I hurt for you.”
Do you see the difference? Make yourself vulnerable and came alongside as a fellow sufferer. This is especially important in helping people who are suffering due to sin or failure. When we show them that we too have failed, and we too are sinners with areas of brokenness in our lives, it gives hope.
Though you may not have been through the exact thing they are facing, you can still learn to identify with their pain and difficulty. But remember, not from above, but by coming alongside.
Compassion means “to suffer together.” Berkely.edu says that the difference between compassion and empathy is that compassion includes the desire to do something to relieve the pain of the sufferer. It is empathy plus action.
Matthew 9:36 says that Jesus was “moved with compassion” when he saw the crowds. They were like sheep without a shepherd. He then was moved to do something in response to the lostness He saw.
Compassion is different from pity. Pity “feels sorry” for the person. It says, “I’m so glad I’m not in that person’s position.” It places you above the sufferer, not alongside them.
People do not need pity. They need compassion. They need us to be willing to suffer with them. To be willing to take sacrificial action to relieve their pain, as we walk alongside.
If our own ability to receive God’s love is under-developed, we will serve others out of selfish motivations. We want to see ourselves as good people. Heroic dreams fill our minds and hearts. All kinds of wrong motivations sneak into our lives!
It is only as we ourselves receive God’s unconditional love and acceptance that can recognize how He sees others around us. Only as we continually receive from Him, can we give to others the gifts described above. It is God in us expressing empathy, demonstrating compassion, and serving the lost and desperate ones we come in contact with.
We must work on our own heart toward others. A the same time we continue to allow God’s healing to restore our own brokenness. In fact, it is out of that brokenness and pain we minister to those around us. We identify with what they are experiencing because of our own journeys toward wholeness.
How can you show empathy and compassion to those around you today? Let me know in the comments below or on the Missionary Life Facebook group.
Reverse culture shock…it’s real. I’d returned to the United States after many years in India. Why do we need to make appointments two weeks in advance to see our friends? When I stop by, why am I not invited in for tea? I felt confused. …
The Lord’s Prayer is a wonderful model. We use it to teach new disciples how to pray. There are other prayers our Lord prayed that can be instructive to us as missionaries as well. In this article, we will spend time looking at the prayer …
Scripture sometimes frustrates me. I get annoyed when the realities of scripture don’t seem to match my life. Ever happen to you? Like the verse found in Isaiah 40:31, “they will run and not grow weary…” Hmmm. I get tired, really tired, sometimes. Perhaps you do too. What must we do when we run out of steam? Isaiah says, “Wait on the Lord.”
Did you ever wonder how much, or how often, we need to “wait on the Lord?” To experience that reality of running without growing weary? In spite of my quiet time each day, being intentional about connecting with God, and taking rest on the sabbath, at times, I still feel drained.
There is a rest, a strength, that goes deeper than the physical. This is a strength that comes from your inner life. It flows from a different source. This strength comes from a deeply rooted knowledge of how greatly God loves you.
When my strength runs out, I stop and rest. I need to spend time in His Presence. My greatest place of renewal, my source of hope, life, and power, though is my growing revelation of His great love.
Paul prays for his disciples in Ephesus. He writes…
“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”
Eph. 4: 16-19 NIV
There is a difference between knowing intellectually that God says He loves us and being rooted and established in His love. When a tree is well-rooted, storms don’t knock it over. It can’t be moved.
God’s love is the soil in which our faith grows strong. This rootedness takes time. It’s not automatic.
How long has it been since you sat still and let God love on you? Since you let Him whisper in your ear how great He thinks you are? Listen to His still small voice whisper. Yes, even now. “I think you are amazing…you are my delight…” Let the roots of your love relationship with Him go deep. Allow God to establish you more deeply in His love.
Our limited minds find limitless things hard. We need God’s help to comprehend how great His love for us is. What is the biggest thing you can imagine? The ocean? The sky? His love for you is far greater.
Think of a huge storehouse, full of bags and bags of rice. No matter how many people you invited for meals, day after day, it would take forty or fifty years to use up all that rice. Thousands of 100-kilo bags, as far as your eye can see. More than enough to last you a lifetime. More than enough to give away to anyone you want to feed.
Still, that is not as limitless as God’s love for you.
His love is more than enough, it will never run out. It’s so limitless that we can give it away, again, and again. There will always, always, be more where that came from.
When you’ve given, and given, when you feel empty, when your well has run dry, go to the storehouse. Grab another bag. There is plenty of God’s love available for you.
Lack strength for today? Did you wake up wondering if you have what it takes to keep going? Lean into His love. Sit for a moment. Ponder the incredible, simple, truth – “Jesus loves me, this I know.”
Be filled today with the fullness of God. When you lack strength, let a fresh revelation of how greatly He loves you grow deeper roots. God loves you not because of the work you do for Him and His Kingdom. He loves you because you are you.
What makes it difficult for you to comprehend His great, personal love for you? What gets in your way? Share in the comments below or on the Missionary Life Facebook group.
It’s a bit of a cliché, but it’s true. Wounded people wound others. When someone lashes out at you in an extreme way, it is likely more their issue than yours. We need the wisdom to know how to love emotionally unhealthy people. I wish …